This is part 2 of last weeks post: Does your man hear you when you speak this week the focus is on the ladies.
This weekend I had the pleasure of seeing the movie Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe. In the movie, for 10 years the men were off to war and the women were left caring for the villages, tending the fields, fending off the poachers and making the best of a bad situation. When the men returned, life returned. The people were happy. The fields were tended and the villages were protected. At that moment, it reminded me what a difference a man makes.
Men, if you never hear this from anyone else, let me say, we need you. Yes, we can do it without you because some had to; but that is not the way God intended for it to be. The balance that you bring to the table, the security that you represent, the weight that you carry as the provider and the love that you give when you really give your all is bar none. That is worth more than gold.
Men often state that women are complicated and at times we can be. But we really aren’t that complex when it comes to understanding us.
As with all people:
- We want to be loved.
- We want to be shown love and appreciation. Flowers and gifts are great, but we want to hear you tell us I love you, Thank you and I appreciate you, that means so much more.
- We want you to have a listening ear when we talk to you because in our minds you are our best friend.
- We try to respect your space but in doing so we feel neglected and taken for granted. At those times, just take a moment and reassure us.
- We want you to make an effort and try (even when you don’t want to) to help and be the partner in the relationship that you promised you would be- the friend, the lover, the support, etc.
- We want you to keep your word and do what you said you were going to do. We aren’t nagging you; we just want you to follow through with your promises.
- But most importantly at the end of it all what we really want, is YOU.
Several years ago the man in my life gave me everything the provision, the encouragement, the support, the friendship, the communication and the security that I desired. In essence, I had it all; except one thing and that was him. Due to issues in his childhood he put up an emotional block and never gave of himself but he gave everything else. His way of showing that he cared was to give things. He had protected himself for so long that when he wanted to give his all, he didn’t know how. It became such a struggle that he realized how emotionally handicapped he was in that area.
It took a while for me to realize and truly understand that he indeed loved me and the love he showed me was the best he could give. However, in my mind, I could not comprehend that because for me love equated to the man, not the stuff. And at the end of it all, he was unable to give me what I really wanted- himself.
So often men want to be the provider, protector, etc. and we love that. But in doing all of that, be sure to give us what we really want, which is you: the good, the bad and the indifferent. Don’t be ashamed of your scars, we have them too. Don’t be ashamed of being vulnerable, we are vulnerable too. Don’t be ashamed to be afraid, we are afraid too.
Allow us to walk out this journey called life together. And in doing so we will make mistakes, we will miss the mark, and we will eventually get it right but lets get it right together.
We love you and we need you. Allow yourself to love us, the way we really need to be loved, by giving us all of you.
Know that this was written in love,
Written by: Judi Mason for www.elev8.com
Contact Judi: firstname.lastname@example.org
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