This past weekend we celebrated Father’s Day. Things around town seemed a little quieter and less congested than a month ago – Mother’s Day. I can remember lines outside the mall doors, crowded flower shops and someone on every single corner selling baskets, flowers and anything else that a woman may like. Internet businesses were selling out of their goods as people were desperate to make sure they got something, anything for that special woman that some call “Ma,” whether she was their sexy Ma or their Ma-Ma. People were trying to get it in.
In close observation, Father’s Day was just a little bit different. Lines were easily accessible and there were no vendors attempting to get your attention as you perused the streets. There was just a sense of calm. Some of that I credit to the fact that men are just not deep. They could very well be okay with watching the game and sipping a cold one. And that’s a little of what differs from the two. But as I was reading some of the updates on Facebook, one thing was clear; many people were celebrating their single mothers on Father’s Day. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I thought, ‘I am NOT his father.’ There is no way that I could ever replace the dynamic of what a father can bring, especially into the life of a boy.
One of my friends asked how she could be the best father and mother to her male son. I replied, “You can’t! You can be the strongest mother that you are capable of and that’s that.” God did not desire that our family units to be as disjointed as they are. He gave women and men certain distinctive characteristics that belong only to us. There are certain things that women are designed to do that men have no innate clue and vice versa. And He made us that way. That’s what makes a relationship work; the two are able to relate to one another in their own language. I can see why He hates divorce. What it does to a family is completely unbelievable. What’s worse is finding an answer to give to my five year old son when he asks if his “Daddy” is going to tuck him in. Those are the type of questions that I am met with these days. My answer is of course emphatically, “NEVER,” for more reasons than a divorce but nonetheless it’s never. At any rate, I can only be the best mom I can be. I can’t teach him how to be a man from a personal perspective, but I can show him what they look like and what they are supposed to do. Miraculously, God has encamped us with some powerfully integral men that would stand up as the village they are to help me keep my son in check. ‘Cause after all, I ain’t his mama and his daddy. And I’m not even going to pretend to take on that role.