So today is Friday. And a wonderful Friday it is. Friday is a great day. It’s the end of the work week. And, I declare that this Friday I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I should not have to do anything for anyone beside me this weekend. This weekend is all about me! You know, there are days (like today) that I totally believe that the world should revolve around me. If I want to sleep until evening, so be it. If I want to ignore proper hygiene practices, so be it. If I want to spend $10,000 on clothes, so be it. If I want to travel to Bali for the weekend, so be it. Who cares? I am the only one who can take good care of me. So starting today, I will.
OKAY! Wait a minute! That is a lie from the pit of hell. God is the one who can take care of me better than anyone including me. All of those words that I was spewing are a reflection of my flesh. That’s me really being selfish. And, selfishness has no place in marriage. See, selfishness threatens oneness with our mates. Selfishness is a part of the fabric that the enemy uses to destroy Godly marriages.
It is so easy for the enemy to use selfishness as a means to destroy our testimony. The fall of Adam allowed us to have the privilege to indulge in our natural tendency toward self-centeredness. In Genesis 3:6, it says “when the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Adam and Eve ate the fruit because they wanted to eat it. They evaluated the situation and thought it was good and ate. And, this is exactly the way we act almost daily.
God tells us in Isaiah 53:6 that “all of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him (Jesus) the sins of us all.” God knew we would be selfish when He gave the prophecy of Jesus to Isaiah and even before the beginning of time.
Our selfish nature sucks all of the romance out of our marriage. We begin to judge our mates. We start to ignore our mates. We won’t listen to them as they give us the reasons for who they are. When our spouses do wrong in our eyes, we harshly rebuke them and let them know that they are not worthy of us. We feel justified to treat our mates badly because of our selfish nature. If only our spouses would do it our way, then everything would be fine. This action produces isolation within our marriage relationship.
When marital isolation happens, we become islands unto ourselves. We don’t have anyone to talk over our lives. We don’t have anyone to encourage or comfort us. We become so alone. Yet…God in His infinite wisdom will begin to show us that we are selfish. And, as we discover that we have been doing things for ourselves and only ourselves, we become like Paul explains in Romans 7:24 which says “what a miserable man I am! Who will save me from this body that brings me death?” What are we supposed to do now?
Jesus is the one who can save us from ourselves. When we live our lives the way He asks us, we can combat and conquer our selfish nature. Philippians 2:4 says, “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” We are to be mindful of the others who cross our paths, especially the ones God has given us in marriage.
But, Father, how do I accomplish this when I am so self-centered? In Colossians 3:7 we find the answer saying “whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” We don’t treat our spouses nicely for them or for us even. We treat them kindly and unselfishly because we are doing all in Jesus’ name. Our treatment of others is a testament to us being a part of God’s family.
So, let’s watch out for our selfish natures. Let’s prove to ourselves and others that we really do believe God is our Father and Jesus is our Savior. And, let’s treat others unselfishly. So, with that, I am going to rethink my weekend and see what my husband and family want to do. I know we will have fun. And, guess what. All I can say to that is THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!
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