Today, I began to ponder exactly what kind of wives should we strive to be. Of course, the word of God can give us guidance and direction on this topic so let’s start with that.
When you stood before God, your husband, the officiating Pastor, and the multitudes of friends and relatives when you got married, what did you think your life would be like. If you’re like me, it is totally different than you imagined. It’s not that it’s so bad…. it’s just different. Of course, my goal as a wife and as a woman for that matter, is to be the Proverbs 31 woman, but sometimes when I look at what the Proverbs 31 woman looks like, it seems an unreachable goal. Let’s start by examining just the part of the scripture that deals with her as a Wife.
Proverbs 31: 10- 12
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
Is this your character? The first thing it mentions is this is an excellent wife. Not average, not mediocre, not good, but excellent! The next adjective that’s used is rare and precious. To be a rare wife means that you are different and valued more than others. To be a precious wife means that you are of great value. Are you of great value to your husband? Are you more valuable than most wives you know? As Christians we should be an example of how a wife should be…even if you think your husband doesn’t value you the way he should, you should be rare, precious and of great value. Remember that we are in covenant relationship with God and our husbands. We are trying to please God as well as our husbands.
Verse 11 says her husband trusts her. In order to gain trust, a person must demonstrate in their actions, that they are trustworthy. Have you demonstrated to your husband that you can be trusted? Of course, we could reverse it and evaluate your husband’s trustworthiness as well, but just for now, let’s concentrate on ourselves and our roles as wives.
The last verse is particularly poignant. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. That means that everyday you are good to him. Not just the days he is good to you, but ALL the days. In essence, this verse sums up kindness. Are you kind?
Now you see what I mean ladies. This is the kind of wife God wants us to be. Are you an excellent wife, rare, precious, trustworthy, kind and do your husband good and not evil ALL the days of your life? If you are, I applaud you. I’m going to be honest: I am a work in progress! I cannot with good conscious say that I have achieved that status yet. Some of it, yes, the other parts, I’m working on. God does not expect perfection from us. In fact, he KNOWS we can’t do it without him anyway. We need to yield ourselves daily to Him and His spirit so that He can begin and complete the work in us that He wants to do.
It’s not an easy thing to achieve. It’s not even an easy thing to strive toward, but God will honor our obedience and our faithfulness in HIM. To obey is better than sacrifice.
1 Samuel 15:22B says: Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
Now that we know what kind of wife God wants us to be, we need to walk in it, strive toward it and give God’s kingdom glory in our obedience to Him. The beautiful thing is we still have time! God has given us a lifetime with our husbands so if we aren’t the wives we want to be, we can change. If marriage were a race, it would be a long distance run and not a sprint. If you didn’t start the race right, or somehow you got off course it’s not too late to make adjustments. You can finish strong! So I will leave you with the question I started with:
What kind of wife are you?