The demise of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries marriage is the perfect example of a guy being caught up in her looks. Kim is a hardworking girl. She is very attractive, but, and this is a big one (no pun intended) Kris should have thought this out a little bit longer.
How many times are we as friends going to let our loved ones marry the WRONG one. I can tell you 100% that if men paid attention to these clues there would be less divorce. Money, emotional dependency and miscommunication will ruin your relationship are flags that you are headed for doom.
Here are some questions to ask before you pop the question:
Is there honest communication between both of you?
Understandably, in the heat of the moment a question as serious as this is usually not a top priority but if you are playing for the long-term you had better make time for it sooner rather than later. As intoxicating as a new romance can be, eventually pet peeves and irritations, will punch a hole into your private world. And if you are not prepared to deal with it the honeymoon may be over before it begins. If she breaks down and cries the minute it’s uncomfortable RUN!!! If she tells you about all the hardships with her first and then begins to talk about her ex with venom, lace those sneakers up!
Do you both have separate lives outside your relationship?
As relationships progress, both women and men tend to identify themselves just as much as half of a couple as distinct individuals. Is she strong enough to avoid the insecurities that can be the result of the ensuing battle between losing herself in your relationship and retaining an individual identity? And what about you? If she needs you, will you be there to hold her hand and to have yours held in turn when things get rough? If you answered no to either of these you may have a problem. I hear this over and over from my guy friends all the time: “she doesn’t let me go out.” Ladies, let the boys go out. Geez, if you don’t trust each other than you shouldn’t be getting married. Get over the insecurity and get a life. See your girls for a game of spades or something. If she wants to be with you every minute of every day that means she is insecure.
Is money an issue?
Nothing loosens a man’s purse strings like a new romance, but as much as you might like treating your new gal at every turn, if you make that your responsibility it may come back to haunt you. Disagreements over money are a prime source of arguments among couples, so do yourself a favor from the beginning and let her pick up the check if she wants to. The result may be an eye-opening snapshot of what your financial future with her may hold. The first thing you should do before you even move in together is get an accurate account of debt. If you both have outstanding debt before the marriage don’t do it. If she has more cards than cash, do NOT do it. If you see her spending money frivolously don’t do it. It does not get better.
If the above things are in order, don’t make that woman wait. Get that ring!
Men, beauty is not everything. The problem at hand is that men shop with their eyes not their minds. Do you agree or disagree?
Let us know in the comments. Make sure to read : Is ADHD Ruining Your Relationship?