ELEV8 » Oretha Winston

Lent Should Teach Patience

Oretha Winston — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:30:49 +0000

For many of us Lent is nearing the finish line. We are exactly two weeks away from celebrating the Resurrection.

It is usually at this time in the 40 days of sacrifice that you begin to wonder what it was that you needed to do to strengthen your spiritual voyage or if you are still the prodigal son out in the fields having a great time. It is usually patience that wears thin. Lent is supposed to be a time in which we contemplate and attempt to get a deeper meaning out of our life and those around us.

That is the hallmark of Lent really. We live in a world that lacks any kind of patience. Everything is a rush. We communicate to the person next to us via Instant Messaging. Drivers on the road are prone to road rage because you did not take off the instant that the light turned green. The person in line behind you at the grocery is sucking in air because the clerk is not moving the line faster. The gentleman standing next to you waiting on the elevator is desperately pushing the button on the wall in hopes that the elevator doors will open. All these things are the immediate result of the lack of patience and social engagement.

Here are a few things to try today:

1- Walk over and talk to your coworker. I am sure that he or she would like to actually hear a full thought out sentence than just a quick abbreviated instant message.

2- Instead of eating lunch at your desk, go eat lunch with other people. It is actually nice to be able to have a conversation that is not rushed.

3- Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t spoke to in a long time with the only intention of catching up

4- Practice living out a spiritual or scripture reading in real time today.

We need to begin the walk and extend the forty days of Lent into our every day living. It is not a time to turn inward, rather we should turn outward. It is these things that Lent should help us foster and work on.

Everything is not a race to the finish line. We will all be there in a grave soon enough.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

Movie Review: No Greater Love

Oretha Winston — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:00:04 +0000

Christian movies tend to make people cringe. This one was far from cringe worthy.

By now most of us our getting use to our church community screening movies and garnering our opinions. Much of the time we even go because we feel like we should support the cause. Two years ago we received “Fireproof” and was thrilled by the c. This year we have received No Greater Love from Coram Deo Studios As I said in an earlier column we as Christians often settles from baring the stigma of mediocrity that has historically and – sadly – often accurately been associated with Christian movies.

No Greater Love delivers a well written non preachy movie from start to finish. I’m always thrilled beyond measure when we screen a film that breaks the stigma and blows the doors off of the mediocrity label. When watching No Greater Love for review purposes, two terms kept coming to mind repeatedly: clever and high quality.

It is 109 minute feature length drama begins with a powerful and convincing argument between a young couple, about prioritizing work versus spending time on their relationship.

No sappiness here; no facade of life. The opening sequence is incredibly and painfully realistic. Before you even realize have time to think about it you are transported “behind closed doors” and intimately into the home of a young family. This initial scene is shot as if you are a “fly on the wall,” witnessing the breakdown of this family relationship. I have spent the last few weeks grappling with really thinking hard about the worth and value of my life and my peers and this movie made an argument that was quite uncomfortable and, from a very personal standpoint, the Holy Spirit convicted me about my own work priorities before I ever got to the opening credits. Now that is powerful.

From this first argument on, No Greater Love grips the viewer and doesn’t let go. The synopsis In No Greater Love, Jeff and Heather are a young married couple with a newborn son, Ethan. Like many young couples, they each have their respective issues that they are learning to deal with, but not quickly enough to salvage their crumbling marriage. They are on the verge of divorce when Heather unexpectedly goes missing and leaves Jeff alone to raise Ethan.

Fast forward ten years as we follow Jeff’s story. He has built a great relationship with Ethan, has obtained a new girlfriend named Katie, and has a career in the advertising industry that is prospering. His life is pretty simple and seemingly on a good track.

One day at a coffee shop, Jeff meets with a man named Dave who he has befriended. Dave invites him to bring Ethan to Kid’s Fest – a Christian day camp for children. It is from there that you are presented with the discussions that we have all wondered about daily.

You may watch the first 30 minutes of the movie by clicking here.

Rating: PG

Available in: DVD

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

There Is More To Life Than Work

Oretha Winston — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:27:26 +0000

Our primary calling is not to serve people or meet their demands but to be available to God: to know him and worship him. So we must say ‘no’ to some things so that our ‘yeses’ will have meaning.

A young man talked to his pastor about his conflicts between work and family. The wise pastor replied: ’serving your family is the Lord’s work’.

Our calling to serve others is always a limited call, for specific tasks. We are not called to be Messiahs, but baton-carriers in life’s relay, handing it on to the next person. Workaholics often masquerade as devoted servants, but really it is a sickness, an addiction, a desire to control, an insatiable appetite for ‘glory’. ‘Work enthusiasts’ on the other hand are healthier, are generally better delegators. Be enthusiastic about your job, but do not let it define you.

Stress is what life is about: it is necessary for our wholeness. But when stress produces distress, it’s destructive. Some of the effects of ‘distress’ are reversible, others irreversible. One person out of four in the U.S. – 65 million – suffers from hypertension/ high blood pressure: a state directly attributable to stress. One million of these will die this year from the effects of heart disease. Further: one in 8/9 suffers from a serious gastro-intestinal problem. 50-60 million have sleep problems. One mental health authority says panic-anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem U.S. women suffer. For men it’s second, after drug and alcohol abuse.

Stress and burnout are not the same. One can contribute to the other, but most suffer from one or the other. Stress produces physical exhaustion, a loss of physical energy. Burnout is emotional exhaustion. We have fragile minds and bodies – clay pots, Paul calls them – and we have no mandate to abuse them. We die a little each day. The question is: Are we dying too much, or too quickly? Are we spiritually disciplined, caring for these fragile vessels?

If you are not careful you will burnout. Burnout is emotional exhaustion. You’ve lost your dream, your ideals. Your emotional resources are inadequate to meet your emotional needs. Rewards are inadequate for the sacrifices involved. You are over-extended. You lack a sense of fulfillment. There’s inadequate appreciation or encouragement from the support-people above you. If there’s an inability to get such support from your ’superior’ (accountability is an important principle here) demoralization occurs. Extroverts experience little burnout if their supports are in place, but introverts have a lot of burnout despite the degree of support (they often don’t know how to use support systems). The mark of a good leader/ manager is to sense the need of support and offer it regularly and appropriately.

Remember people who understand that money isn’t what’s most important live fulfilled lives. If you do not have sense of purpose you are lost. You can’t enjoy life by obsessing over work. Money is only an unfortunate necessity. It does not dictate your worth as a person.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

Try This 4 Step Challenge To Be Better Today

Oretha Winston — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:44:14 +0000

How can one ordinary person — you or me — make a positive difference in this world? I challenge you today to do something .

While the steps might be simple, the outcome could change the world. We are the image of goodness and justice in our small worlds. This is where we change the kingdom.

Day after day we hear about the struggles of families, friends and co-workers. We feel like the whole world has become a cold unfeeling place. I offer you a challenge. A few years ago there was a successful movie and book of the same name written by Catherine Ryan Hyde. The last few months has presented us with dozens of ways to do charitable work. Whether we are helping Haiti or gearing up to assist Chile we should be doing something positive in your own world. Here are few steps to change our world

1-Be attentive wherever you are for opportunities to help someone. Perhaps you have an elderly or disabled neighbor who is too proud to ask for help with their yard work or maybe you’re in a McDonald’s or Starbucks and see someone who looks like they could use some kind stranger to pay for their meal. We just went through a horrible storm. The next storm we have throw some extra salt on your neighbors’ drive. You can change people’s attitudes about the world through acts of kindness and love.

2-Do something nice for someone you don’t know (or don’t know very well). It should be something significant, and not for a person from whom you expect a good deed — or anything at all, for that matter — in return.

3-Spread the word. If the person thanks you and wants to “repay” you let them know that what you’d really like is for them to pay it “forward” — you’d like them to do something nice for three people they don’t know, and ask those three people to do something nice for three more people. The idea is to consciously increase the goodness of the world.

4-Pay it forward. When you notice that somebody has done something nice for you, make a note in your mind to practice three acts of kindness towards other people, as described in Step 2.

Please tell me how it turns out today. I want to know how it goes.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

Author Review: Victoria Christopher Murray

Oretha Winston — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:19:40 +0000

If you are anything like me, once you find a great author you try to read everything they have written. Victoria Christopher Murray is one such great author. She can be rightfully considered the new Jackie Collins.

She creates exciting characters and suspenseful plots that allow you to anticipate with fervor the next move. You may even grow to love one of her most popular villains Jasmine Lawson Bush. Below are the listings of books you should pick up to read.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE

Is it too little, too late to save two marriages threatened by lies, betrayal and infidelity? Jasmine and Minister Hosea Bush, Alexis and Brian Lewis, and Hosea’s ex-fiancée Natasia are entangled in a web of deceit. Can honesty and trust restore and heal their relationships?

Paperback: 416 pages
Publisher: Touchstone
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1416552529
ISBN-13: 978-141655252

GROWN FOLKS BUSINESS

Sheridan Hart’s perfect life as she has known it for the past seventeen years is about to be shattered when her husband decides to leave his family for his new male lover. In order to

deal with all of the varying emotions amongst her family and friends trying to understand his decision, Sheridan realizes just how much she needs to lean on her faith and heart in deciding what’s best for everyone involved. The sequel to this book is”The Ex Files”.

Paperback: 431 pages
Publisher: Touchstone
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0743270975
ISBN-13: 978-0743270977

THE EX FILES

Drawn together by Hope Chapel’s Pastor Beverly Ford, these African-American women stand at crossroads in their lives. For Sheridan Hart it’s trying to choose between marrying her lover or going back to the bisexual Ex who left her for a man. Kendall Stewart deals with her rage over her younger sister and Ex falling in love, but must make a life or death choice when her sister becomes seriously ill. Asia Ingram wants revenge on the father of her six-year-old daughter, a retiring, married LA Laker who’s decided to end their decade-long affair. Can you ever repair from deception?

Paperback: 416 pages
Publisher: Touchstone
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1416552529
ISBN-13: 978-1416552529

TEMPTATION

Kyla and Jefferson Blake’s marriage is perfect. They are a family in Los Angeles, and have a boundless faith. Unfortunately, this angers Kyla’s friend Jasmine Larson, a recent divorcee. Even after Kyla gets a warning, she doesn’t believe that Jasmine would hurt her until the morning she comes home from a trip to find Jasmine in her bed and Jefferson in the shower. Kyla and Jefferson decide whether to piece their marriage together with the help of their pastor and the Lord, Jasmine schemes to steal Kyla’s life for herself. An emotional, realistic look at the devastation temptation

Mass Market Paperback: 400 pages
Publisher: Walk Worthy Press
Language: English
ISBN-10: 044661582X
ISBN-13: 978-0446615822

Well, what are you waiting for? Go get the books!

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

OPINION: Removing APPS Is Equivalent To Censorship

Oretha Winston — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:20:50 +0000

Late last week, Apple removed all content from the App Store matching rules to remove apps containing women and men in swimsuits, showing skin, or with questionable content, according to Apple Managers . Under most circumstances you can apply the reasoning that because Apple is providing the service it can do as it sees fit. I disagree. It seems to be a repeat of a movement that changed the marketing of music. Many of us who grew up in the 1980’s remember a group called the Parent Music Resource Center (PMRC) who led the charge to sticker music with the moniker “explicit”. This changed the way that retail chains would choose to stock music according to content. This group decided for nation that certain popular music should be marked as appropriate or inappropriate. Years later this has resulted in video games baring the marks of the work of twenty years before.

While broadly speaking I’m not that concerned about whether or not you can download apps with PG-13 images, it’s yet another reminder that Apple controls everything you can do on their latest slate of devices. I am concerned that Big Brother is once again commenting on what a person can freely do with his or her time. I think freedom of speech takes hits every day in this world of “political correctness”. The removal of the applications was just that. It was a company fearing that they were not being politically correct. They should not be allowed to tell anyone what they can place on an individual’s personal item. That would be to me the equal of someone coming into my home and switching a television channel while I am watching because they think it’s inappropriate. If you are a consenting adult no should make that choice for you. This is company’s knee jerk reaction.

I have always said that I don’t have to agree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it. I don’t have to appreciate your art form in order, no matter how tasteless it is, for you to create it. Yes, there are fine lines to what art is and isn’t. In this case, I think they are acting out of the need to censor. If there is a market for it someone will buy it, download it and view it. That’s not my business and definitely shouldn’t be part of big business. How much more is Big Brother going to monitor? How much will you allow?

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Are The Younger Generations More Moral than Civil Rights Generation?

Oretha Winston — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:48:36 +0000

Although they are more likely to describe themselves as more liberal the Hip Hop and Millennial generation believe almost as strongly if not more in the basic tenets of morality.

A recent study conducted by the Marist College for Public Opinion in January before the Haitian Earthquake discovered the following interesting things. The Hip Generation (ages 30-44) at 82% said that marriage commitments are not valued enough in this country. When asked whether there was a “decline in moral values in this country are headed in the right direction”, 65% answered definitively. The survey also asked whether they considered themselves liberal or not? Only 28% of the Hip Hop Generation called themselves liberal. The other factors that showed up prominently were the belief that 80% felt that respect for people had all but disappeared. Seventy four percent believe that honesty and integrity are extinct.

It should be noted that the survey found that those Millennial (ages 18-29), have shifted in their core belief focus. Unlike previous generations which cite starting a family as having been their primary life goal in their twenties, they seek to be spiritual or closer to God as their primary long-term life goal.

It appears according to the poll the younger generation believes the following:

Morally, the nation is headed in the wrong direction.

91% is immoral to claim someone else’s work as their own,
77% it is wrong to make business decisions motivated by greed,
65% believe it is wrong to increase profits by decreasing the quality of a product or service.

In conclusion, it should be noted the following as well, when asked do they believe in God:

84%- Yes
6%- No
10% Unsure

*Please note: This report presents the findings from a survey of 2,243 Americans equally distributed AA and non AA –including an oversample of 1,006 Millennials. Reports for Americans have a margin of error of +/-2% and for Millennial it is +/-3%. . Data were collected from December 23, 2009 through January 4, 2010 using an online, probability-based panel from Knowledge Networks.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

Does Tiger’s Public Contrition Forgive His Sins?

Oretha Winston — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 16:56:07 +0000

This Morning Tiger Woods took to a press conference in which he admitted that not only was he wrong but that he “was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable.”

This admission out loud harkens back to the early days when people would publicly atone for their sins. they would place ashes on their faces and dress in sack cloth. Tiger pointed to the fact that had he not strayed from his spiritual and religious beliefs and practices he would not be in this situation. Many people will laugh this off and say that he was just pantomiming what people wanted to hear. There is a part of me that feels that he was being sincere. There is another part of me that knows that he had to address the mess that his public life had become.

We have become a society where whether we are black or white, we are permissive in bad behavior. I understand the argument that if you are young you shouldn’t get married. I can understand the argument that not everyone is ready for marriage. I disagree that monetary and professional success dictates a “pick and choose” menu of personal behavior. It is the belief that once presented with a smorgasbord you have no ability to control yourself. It has become hallmark that if you are successful, and have money you are entitled to be promiscuous and irresponsible and unfaithful. That’s 100% unacceptable. It’s even more unacceptable for African Americans due to the fact one check point of purchasing slaves was whether or not he could be a “good buck” or a “good breeder”. Should we fall back into that old stereo type that allows for behavior like McNair’s? The horrifying part of his story is that he has a son who is in early adulthood who has now learned first hand how to handle a mistress. I think we have thoroughly crossed the threshold where over the edge behavior gains you popularity as being a player. It is now the comparison of who has the better war stories exchanged in the dressing room, locker rooms and bars.

The true lies that are being sown about the institution of marriage have presented insane logic 1- that it’s not work and 2- that it’s cheaper to keep her. We all laugh about it, but it’s no laughing matter anymore. We are over run with young ladies who do not know who fathered their children and young men who father too many with little claim to responsibility except the ability to say, “That’s my child.” We are all falling victim to this whole idea that life should be “a whole lot of what you want, when you want, how you want. ”

Unfortunately, with athletes the pipe dream that the bigger better woman is on the horizon somewhere is really why they cheat. It’s true in the music business. It’s true in the board room. They lock down the “right now woman” and then when they get to whatever level is a great level they pick up “the trophy.” She is often the young misguided woman. This behavior trickles down to my ill-informed and groomed sisters who feel that acting less than ladylike is what will get them the attention that they crave. When they are left alone they are wondering how they got to this point in the road.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

African Americans Have Always Worn the Stars and Stripes with Pride

Oretha Winston — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:00:51 +0000

Africans Americans have always had the heart of Olympiads. I have been watching and cheering on the the American team at the Olympics with pride the last few nights. It called to mind the past winners.

There have been many that etched their places on podiums that should never be forgotten.

John Baxter Taylor, Jr. became the first African-American winner of a gold medal in the Olympics and the first African-American to win a gold medal as a United States team member.

Jesse Owens faced down Hitler and stood proud when he won gold medals in the 100- and 200-meter runs, broad jump (now called long jump) and the 400-meter relay at the 1936 Games in Berlin

Alice Coachman became the first Black woman to win a gold medal, thanks to a record-setting performance in the high jump at the 1948 Summer Games in London

Tommie Smith and John Carlos winners of the gold and bronze medals in 1968 gave the world a shocking symbolic moment. At the medal ceremony they, had come to the ceremony dressed to protest: wearing black socks and no shoes to symbolize African-American poverty, a black glove to express African-American strength and unity. (Smith also wore a scarf, and Carlos beads, in memory of lynching victims.) As the national anthem played and an international TV audience watched, each man bowed his head and raised a fist. After the two were banished, images of their gesture entered the iconography of athletic protest.

Muhammad Ali was a former heavyweight champion and holds the 1960 Olympic gold medal in Boxing.

Wilma Rudolph- overcame a bout with polio as a child, won gold in the 100- and 200-meter dashes, and the 400-meter relay in 1960.

Domique Dawes won the gold medal in Gymnastics in 1996.

Vonetta Flowers became the first African American woman to win a Gold Medal in bobsleighing in 2002

Michael Johnson -set a world record in the 200-meter run to get his “double,” becoming the first man to win gold medals in the 200 meters and 400 meters at one Olympiad in 1996

Shani Davis who enters into the pages of history won his second consecutive gold medal in men’s 1,000-meter speed skating yesterday at the Vancouver Olympics. Davis, defended the title he won 4 years ago in Turin, when he became the first African-American to win an individual gold medal at the Winter Games.

We should never forget all our winners past and present.

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Lent Is Not A Time Of Punishment

Oretha Winston — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:45:48 +0000

Lent is the period of time in which many Christians walk the way of Christ for 40 days.

It is a time of reflection and prayer. Lent prepares the Christian for the yearly commemoration of Christ’s Death and Resurrection. It is usually marked with the sealing of ashes in the sign of the cross on the forehead of a person. At time the person is told that from Ashes you came to ashes you return. Mardi Gras is the celebration that precedes Ash Wednesday and is usually culminated with Fat Tuesday or Shrove Tuesday as it is referred to in New Orleans. It is the day before Ash Wednesday. Lent begins today for Eastern rite Christians and tomorrow for Latin Rite Christians. There is self sacrifice and the giving up of something that you enjoy and love. It is also marked by dietary demands as well. Fasting on Fridays and almsgiving are hallmarks of the season as well.

Unfortunately, many Christians face lent with a sense of dread. It shouldn’t be looked at as a time of depression and deprivation. It should be time in which you reflect on how you can better you choices and strengthen you prayer life. Christ’s forty-day retreat in the desert and his success in resisting the devil’s temptation to wealth, power, and glory should inspire you to do better. You can do it in small ways.

Lent is a time of fasting. It sounds like such a sacrifice. It is, but it doesn’t have to be painful. We fast every day. Yes, every day! A fast is a time in which we step back for a moment to give thanks. Don’t you fast for a moment every day just before you eat long enough to say Grace? That’s a fast. Sometimes the fast can come from giving up an hour of your own time to spend it in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament for meditation. Sometimes we fast from conversation in prayer in order to hear God speaking rather than ourselves. There are many things from which one can fast.

Rather than looking back on all those years and trying to measure our conversion and change, just look back one year. Are you different? Is there something distinctly different in how you present God and His miracles to others? Don’t worry if it didn’t happen. You have a whole new opportunity. That’s another gift from God… another grace. Next year at this time you’ll be able to make that distinction… and be just that much closer to God.

I recommend that you read CS Lewis “The Screwtape Letters” over the next forty days and listen carefully to where you fall.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}