OPINION: Why I Regret My Divorce
Last weekend, at a family wedding in the country, I was overwhelmed by an emotion that has, in the last year, become only too familiar to me.
Sitting in a stifling marquee, listening to my cousin Sally’s husband making the traditional father-of-the-bride speech, I was overcome by a feeling that was part envy, part guilt and part regret.
My cousin’s marriage, which has lasted for 25 years, is by no means perfect – what marriage is? – but against the odds, she has achieved something that is now, and always will be, beyond my grasp.
As I looked at her sitting happy and radiant at the top table, laughing uproariously at her husband’s far from funny jokes, I realised that, in a world that has horribly devalued the institution of marriage, she was reaping the benefits of putting the love and security of her family first, before any disagreements she might have with her husband in the rough and tumble of daily life.
Jane Gordon with husband and son in 1999 before her divorce
Watching her united with her husband on such an emotional occasion reminded me sharply of exactly what I had lost – but had no idea I was losing – seven years ago, when I got divorced from my husband, the father of my three children, after 25 years together.
Our relationship had broken down, I can now see, not because of any petty irritations such as his lateness or my untidiness, but because we had both moved irrevocably away from each other.
In the past few years of our marriage, I was more absorbed in my children and my career than I was in my husband while he, feeling increasingly isolated, simply switched off.
It’s a scenario that will be familiar to many couples. But how many of them choose to separate, and how many have the gumption to stick it out?
The trouble is nobody tells you the truth about divorce.
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There’s a typo. Realized is spelled with a “z”
This was a very interested article and a lot of times I really dont speak on it. It reminds me of the I wont do this and I wont do that in high school and after you hit 21 or whatever. You look back at yourself and laugh. I just believe sometimes people get together and it is rushed. Things seem good at first and acourse boredom can set in as quickly as the I do after a while. I just believe this person left someone that was good and it wasnt even worth it in the long run. This is a very interesting article and its the reason why I wrote the book Mack’s The Chessmaster https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1059600
It’s strange how people can attempt to drop knowledge and wisdom on something they have no experience and barely know nothing about. Marriage is build on trust but if the marriage was established based on deceit and infidelity is involved then it isn’t sacred and God will separate the two. Yes, marriage is an institution but people fail to realize what it actually means. What God has put together, let no man take apart; only God has the authority to break something he has put together. Deuteronomy 24:1.
Marriage is like any other institution that takes work. Once married a couple has got to be able to put away preconceived notions of what a marriage should look like. Most deal breakers are spotted early on in the dating relationship however.