Can You Rel8?

Born in Queens, N.Y., Ingrid Michelle is an entrepreneur to the core--from children books, apparel and accessories and even a memoir, "Life AFTER the Down Low," this artist and mom is sure to keep readers wanting more.

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Adoption: What Is All The Hush About?

By Ingrid Michelle August 13, 2009 9:00 am

A couple of months ago, I purchased my first car. Woohoo to my first major buy as a single parent – lol. Anywho, the salesman was an older White man (we’ll call him Dave), who was extremely attracted to my son – not in the creepy kind of way though, he just thought he was cute and well mannered. We were there for close to 7 hours and my son didn’t complain once. Dave thought it was remarkable. To be honest, so did I. As we were awaited the cars minor repair, Dave asked if we were hungry and treated us to lunch. While we ate, he began to ask loads of questions. One of the things he was curious about was regarding my sons adoption. I was pretty open with the SOME of the details because I think it is simply awesome at how God brought him into my life, but while he asked, he whispered the word “adoption,” as if it were some type of secret. I felt as if I was in violation by speaking above a hush. He then qualified his curiosity because he and his wife had also chosen their now 9 year old son. Again, he spoke in a low tone when he mentioned THAT word. I thought it was the oddest thing. Last week I watched the movie “JUNO.” Did you see it? The movie where the teenage girl is set to have a baby out of wedlock in high school and finds what she thinks is the perfect couple to adopt her unborn son. There was a moment when she was preparing to deliver and my son walked in.

“Mommy, does she have a baby in her belly,” he asked.

“Yes honey,” I said. “Was I in your belly,” he asked as he came near to pat my stomach. I thought carefully about how I would answer him. It was the best question I thought my five year could ever ask.

“No! You weren’t born in my belly…”

“Who is?” he asked. (interpretation: Who’s stomach was I born in.)

“Her name is Debbie,” I answered.

“So I’m not from your belly?”

“No! You were born in my heart. And that’s even better because you were chosen.”

“Chosen,” he asked.

“Yes! Mommy picked you above everybody else because you were the best.”

His smile lit the room. He was completely satisfied with that answer. So was I.

I had never really prepared what I would say to him when he started asking, but I also knew that it would never be a secret. I love to share that my son was chosen. There is nothing taboo about it. I have all of the things he came home with in a special bag and he is aware that is HIS bag. I have all of his hospital records and names of siblings. He now knows the name of the woman who carried him in order that he would be mine. In my opinion, the journey of their lives is incomplete without the truth of who they are and where they come from. They have a right to know. It’s a part of their heritage, their legacy that needs as complete a picture as anything and anyone. To withhold that information is to fill their lives with gaping, irreparable wounds that are unnecessarily inflicted. It is to cast a shadow of mistrust and deception that will become the landscape of the relationship that one has with them.

Adoption is all but royalty. Do you realize just how many prominent people were adopted in the Bible – Moses, Ephraim, Manasseh, Esther and JESUS – yes, He was adopted as well…and not to mention the fact that we all are adopted into the family of Christ, “Hepredestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will,” Ephesians 1:5. With this royal selection we are now heirs to the kingdom. Talk about inheritance. “Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory,” Romans 8:17. With all of that said, I repeat, there is nothing taboo about adoption. It is the best fruit I could have ever picked.

Other Articles You Will Find Interesting:

Power In Knowing Your True Identity

I Wish Christians Were More Like Michael Jackson

Thought Of The Day: Freedom

How Many Kids Do You Want? Why?

To learn more about Ingrid Michelle, click here.