Do You Really Know Who You’re Texting?

Text messages are a funny thing. They’re funny because there’s not real way to be sure that the person texting you back is, in fact, the person that you assume it is. It’s a very trusting exchange. You’re trusting that they’re who they say they are, and they’re probably doing the same thing.

But what if the person you were texting turned out to be someone completely different than who you thought it was? Gentlemen: what if a girl gave you her number, you have a conversation with her, only for you to later find out that if wasn’t her responding, but her brother.

That’s exactly what happened this past weekend.

My eighteen year old sister was at work on Saturday evening and this guy came into the restaurant was very flirtatious toward her (to say the least). She wasn’t the least bit interested, but he was persistent, so she finally gives him her number. Only her number (the one that she wrote down) wasn’t hers at all, but mine (her brother’s). She then texts me to tell me this so I’m not caught off guard, and I couldn’t do anything but laugh at the possibility of what might ensue later that evening.

Probably two or three hours go by and I receive a text. “Ay shawty u fine. Im at work, where u at? U got a man?”

I hollered! Really? Do men really try to holler at women like this? (After talking with my followers on Twitter, who I kept updated throughout the whole affair, I found out that, sadly, this was in fact, commonplace.) I couldn’t help but crack up at his lame attempt at game.

How I should respond? I realized that I was in a unique place to teach (or at least attempt to teach) this man something about respecting women and properly approaching them. I know a lot of the tricks and ideas he’ll use, and the things he’ll say so I can easily counter with the reality of the situation. But how do I proceed?

I texted my sister and asked her for some more details about their interaction. When she told me that he said, “Ay you got a pretty name. We can be friends and more if you good wit it,” I knew I had my starting point. So I start in on the conversation, pretending to be her, and the hilarity, and yes, also, the lesson, ensues.

Take a moment, and read the conversation below. I’ve censored out the work that I deem inappropriate, but I’m quite certain you can still figure out what they are. (Note: about 3/4 of the way through, in between the “Man f— you shawty. Yo p—— aint that important” message and the “U a real b——” message, there is a 25 minutes break; I thought the conversation was over, but clearly his ego couldn’t finish on that note.)

While I could absolutely go in on him for a number of different things — only taking 3 texts before asking “me” for sex, being a “grown man” and 20, yet still typing like that, or never bothering to even ask for “my” name — I won’t. You can, but I won’t.

Now think for a moment about what’s going on in this guy’s head…

He’s probably ticked off that his “game” (or lousy excuse for) fell flat on it’s face and he didn’t get any action. Not only that, but he got shot down (hard) and his ego is probably bruised a little bit (to say the least). But imagine what he’d be thinking if he knew, not only that he was talking to a guy, but to this woman’s brother! How much would that mess with his head?

Well, he found out that very thing on Monday afternoon when he came back to my sister’s job. (We already discussed the possibility of this happening and she, in no way, felt in any danger — she can definitely hold her own.)

I won’t replay the whole interaction between them — although it is hilarious — but instead just tell you that he, once again, was questioning her as to, “why she gotta be like that.” (As if a woman saying, “no,” to a man is completely unheard of.) She then proceeded to tell him that he hadn’t asked her a thing, but had instead been talking to me. I can only imagine the look of shock on his face, the thoughts running through his mind. She said a few more things before he threw up his hands, said, “F— you, trick,” and walked out the door.

My hope is that he’d think back on what I said, look at it from a different perspective, and take into consideration the things that I told him about treating women. But as long as stupid women continue to fall for his foolishness, it won’t be likely that he’ll change his ways. (And you know the very reason he’s using this “approach” is because it must have worked with women — or should I say girls — in the past.)

I share all this with you, not only so you can get a chuckle or five out of it, because honestly, it really is funny, but so you can correlate to the last post I wrote talking about respecting women. (For those of you who asked, yes, I’ll come back and write a piece directed towards the ladies on how they need to respect the men in their lives. It’s only fair to balance things out.)

What I want you to think about is this: when you deal with the opposite sex, are the things that you say to them appropriate to say in front of their siblings (or even their parents)?  How would your language change if it wasn’t just the two of you?

[Written by Stuart McDonald for Elev8.com. For more from Stuart, check out his personal blog, follow him on Twitter, and connect with him on Facebook.]

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