Stuart McDonald

Stuart McDonald

What Needs To Be Said

RSS

Atlanta native Stuart McDonald is an up and coming writer and communicator, who strives to facilitate dialogue about issues, such as race, religion, and relationships.

« Previous Post   Next Post »

Five Reasons I Hate Dating Christians

By Stuart McDonald November 6, 2009 11:59 am

singles-black-dating-personals

Generally speaking, Christians are great people in a lot of ways. But sometimes, for some reason, they end up being less Christ-like and more crazy-like. The realm of  dating and male-female relationships is one of these areas. It seems that when conversations concerning the opposite sex come into the picture, Christians immediately make things more complicated than they should be and thus bring undue tension, drama, and stress into the picture.

I have devised a list of the five reasons that I hate dating Christians, or more accurately, the five things that annoying me most when dating Christians. And for all those super saved folks that think this is blasphemous, and will comment about how Christians should only date Christians (which I’ll agree with) please know that I’ll come back with another list next week, just to even things out, so go ahead relax. It’s ok. So, here we go… in no particular order:

1. Everything is about marriage. You can’t express any kind of interest in anyone without people immediately jumping to the “they’re going to get married” conclusion. Can we just take it one step at a time? I asked her if she’d like to have coffee, not if she wants to spend the rest of her life with me — I don’t even know her like that. You’ve got to take the time to get to know people first before you can accurately gauge whether or not they’re even marriage material, but too often, Christians seem to think that expressed interest implies that the research is already done. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. But let’s be on the safe side and not assume anything. A meal doesn’t always lead to marriage so enjoy your dessert.

2. There’s always more than meets the eye. There seem to always be ulterior motives. Can we just have fun hanging out and enjoying each other’s company without the pressure of adding titles and timelines to the relationship? Now, I understand that you don’t want to lead people on, but we don’t need to define the relationship before we’ve finished out coffee. It’s really not that serious. Why do I feel like we have to interrogate each other in order to make sure that they fulfill all the qualifications (see #4) that we think we need to have in order to obtain this perfect spouse.

In this area, sometimes a person’s friends are the relationship’s worst enemy. What I mean is that they can put a lot of unnecessary pressure and stress on the situation by creating a timetable of what they think should be happening by what date. That’s not to say that the other person hasn’t already done it, but the friends make it worse because they’re constantly asking questions about “when” and “why” and “why hasn’t such and such happened” thus making the person wonder and think about these things instead of just letting it happen organically.

3. You can’t just tell them “no.” Especially if you go to the same church. This is really more for the ladies, but should serve as a warning for the guys. Gentlemen, if you see a particular lady that you like, and express interest but it’s not reciprocated, learn how to respect her decision and still be pleasant and friendly to her afterwards. You might be a great guy and her a great girl, but that doesn’t automatically make the relationship work, or even mean there’s an attraction. Just because you two may match up all your qualifications on paper, that doesn’t mean that thing will just fall into place.

I’m not going into any depth on this, but… can the Elders, Deacons, and Pastors stop trying to hook people up? That is not a spiritual gift and you don’t have the worldly skills to do it, so please, do us all a favor and chill out. People notice other people they’re attracted to. We can even tell within the first few minutes of talking to a person if we want to know more about them, even in a friendship way, so please, don’t get offended because you think that me and your daughter should get married, but we’re just not attracted to one another.

4. They have way too many requirements. As much as we should be Christ-like and very accepting and caring about those that aren’t like us, whether in lifestyle or belief system, we, more often than not, do the exact opposite and ostracize the very people that we could help change.

How does this relate to dating? Most Christians have a list, perhaps 3 or 4 pages long of things they think they want in their mate. And while non-Christians do this too, Christians are so much worse with it, because they include spiritual stipulations that they personally don’t even fulfill. Men want a “Proverbs 31 Woman” but they don’t even tithe or have a consistent prayer life. Or women want a man that will lead them in the ways of the Lord, but get upset when he said he doesn’t want to have sex with you. Be realistic. Don’t expect anything of your mate that you don’t expect of yourself.

5. The “God told me…” situation. Christians are great at using God as an excuse for any and everything in their lives. We say things like, “God told me not to be friends with you because…” or, “God said I’m supposed to have this job,” when the reality is, that’s not the Father, that’s your flesh. I’m not saying that God can’t speak to us about situations in our lives, but more often than not, we use that as a means to get what we want and putting “God said…” in front of it makes the desire more legit.

Ladies. Gentlemen. Do not tell someone, “God told me that you’re were gonna be my spouse.” Please. It’s creepy and honestly, if you’re someone I’m not familiar with, it’s a little stalker-ish too. If God told you that, He’ll be telling me as well, and then we can talk about it.

Those are my five things. I could probably come up with more, but I want to hear from you — when it comes to dating Christians, what are the things that you can’t stand the most? What are the things that Christians do that they shouldn’t do? What did I miss? Thoughts?

But wait, before I go, I should say, make sure you come back next week when I balance out the scales and give you the five reasons I love dating Christians.

[For more from Stuart McDonald, check out his personal blog and follow him on Twitter]

Related Articles:

Can The Ladies Pay Sometimes?

Can A Woman Be Too Independent?

Friends Vs. Girlfriends — As Men See It

Girlfriend Or Friend With Benefits: Who’s Better Off?

What If The Sex Is Bad? Does A Christian Have Options?

TAGS: , , , , ,
Share with friends!
  • BlackPlanet
  • TwitThis
  • Facebook
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

Comments

59

% %

You must be logged in to post a comment.

1 2
  • Agility
    11-9-2009 4:00 pm

    A lot of comments against Christian dating are actually against Christianity in general. To say that it’s dumb to date someone and practice abstinence until marriage, when that is what the Bible teaches is right, is to say that it’s dumb to be a Christian at all. And if that’s your opinion, more power to you. Go do whatever you want to do, however and with whomever you want to do it, and have fun while you’re at it.

    However, I would conjecture that there are probably a lot more single mothers who had children out of wedlock than there are men or women who are unsatisfied with their marriage just because they didn’t get to sexually “test drive” their partners before they took their vows.

  • hipswang
    11-9-2009 3:40 pm

    Christian dating is lame and stupid – some ppl make it work and good 4 them but the reasons listed above r only the tip of the iceberg. Besides being cornered in ur own church, and dating someone u cna’t really get 2 know, and have miscontrued words from “god” and not being able 2 touch (yeah, I wonder how many unsatisfied lovers r married 2 christians? lol test the waters ppl test the waters) – then add all the other rules – half the time they’re not even worth all that effort anyway – but they are protected by vipor christ – lol – so u can’t come near touch or really know but u sho can get stuck w/that hoe – lol1

  • SUMMER_SO_FINE
    11-9-2009 11:55 am

    i think one major problem with chritian dating is physcialness. It is hard for many christians to date and practice abstinence. AT the same time, you have more women in the church then men especially who are willing to settle down and date. So for a lot of women, they find themselves dating men who have not given themselves to Christ, which can be a problem because if it is hard for the christian couples to practice abstinence until married, it would be just as hard for an unevenly couple to do so as well unless you are really patient. At the end of the day, he/she still has to choose Christ for themselves, you can not choose for them. The only way to have a companion is through the will of God. Powerful and constant prayer. If you fall, just get back up and pray even harder. If you fall again, pray even more harder. God will send him or her. This is the only way it will work and whoever God sends, regardless of the trials and tribulations you endure in that relationship, it will work and it will last because it is God’s will for it to be. We have to remember to put God first in all things, even in our relationships.

  • Lamonte_H
    11-9-2009 7:02 am

    I was raised around church enviornments and still witnessed christians try to “live” like everyone else….because everyday people got everyday problems.(Even Christians are not THAT different)and I took the time to see what went on, all over this world….Faith is like a responsibility and not everyone lives-up to it. But I will stay optimistic….I am a single person, now, but I’m not giving up on finding love unless GOD, himself, stops my heart from beating….that’s MY 2 cents.

  • DarkrThnMost
    11-9-2009 6:11 am

    Are you for 100% sure that,that’s the word of God or, was it strategically placed there by man as well??!?!?!?!!?!?!

  • Buzgrl45
    11-9-2009 5:51 am

    First of all, I just wish to say that everyone has their opinion. Secondly, you really shouldn’t be dating a Christian, especially if you’re not one. And Christians that are dating a non-Christian is against God’s law. The Word of God says, by not unequally yoked with unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14 For this reason, you don’t see eye to eye and Christians have not fellowship with them. You will never see eye to eye. The wisdom of this world is foolishness unto God. Most of the World will call Christians crazy, fanatics, simply because your views are so much different than a Christians…Yes Christian are very selective about what they want. And why can they be? If they wait on God, He’ll send someone that’s after the likeness of His own heart. So if a Christian is dating a non-believer. They’re really outside of the will of God…

  • blackdiamond184
    11-9-2009 12:28 am

    This article does have some good points if you are a worldly person. Me being a Christian man find it somewhat offensive. The main thing is faith and God will give you what you want if you ask and believe in your heart. Some things are tough like staying celebate but if you are both filled with the Holy Spirit your intimacy will be supernatural. Christian relationships are much deeper than worldly, there may be sacrifices but it all pays off in the end.

  • DarkrThnMost
    11-8-2009 10:40 pm

    YIKES!!!!!!!!

  • D-Jolla
    11-8-2009 10:38 pm

    Cause they some prudes who would rather hump a Bible…I wouldnt date a glory hellaluyah chick except for to defile her…enjoy your life and leave them amens where they belong…nothin wrong with being Holy but dont be all WHOLLY holy…I dont wanna hear you praising Jesus every five minutes or goin amen evry two seconds or giving god the fckin glory every time I turn around…I would drop you off at church and go watch the game with my bruhs till time to come get you…

  • Agility
    11-8-2009 9:02 pm

    I didn’t even realize the author was a man. You can just reverse all the genders there, but my point remains the same.

  • Legs4Weeks
    11-8-2009 8:37 pm

    I think the judgmental part of Christians, especially while dating, is really a fear of falling. Its a front. People tend to be confrontational when they are afraid that others will see them for who they really are. That’s why they feel if they point fingers, make accusations or “preach” to others that their true selves will not be exposed. I believe that’s the case in all areas of life.

  • DarkrThnMost
    11-8-2009 8:18 pm

    I thought the writer was a guy named Stuart McDonald??????

  • Agility
    11-8-2009 8:05 pm

    The problem is with this article is that it’s not about dating Christians. Its about dating whatever men the author has come across who considered themselves to be Christians. In other words, its one huge generalization about a large (or not so large) group of people based on the very few she has met. Is there any rational reason to believe that being a Christian, based on what the Bible teaches, would make anyone do the things she describes? Or is it more likely that a lot of people claim to be Christians in order to feel better about themselves and their lives, but in reality live anything but a Christian lifestyle? And that it’s these hypocritical, church-going non-Christians she is running into? It may not be PC to question the faith of men I have never even met nor personally observed in their everyday lives, but the model and actions she describe are not based on the model of a Christ-like person, and if their life looks nothing like the life of Christ, then how can they claim to be his follower or disciple (literally that’s what the word “Christian” means)?

    A more appropriate title might have been “5 things I hate about dating hypocrites who call themselves Christians but who in fact are anything but.” She says herself that their lives don’t match their preaching, so she can go step further and admit that the men she’s talking about really aren’t Christians, so she can’t use her experiences them to talk about what it is or is not like to date a (true) Christian. If she considers herself a Christian, and she already agrees that Christians should date other Christians, then she should look for a man whose life demonstrates that he believes in the same Godly values that she does. And if she does not consider herself one, perhaps she should seek men more true to their self-proclaimed creeds. After all, who likes a hypocrite?

  • DaintyJen
    11-8-2009 7:35 pm

    maaan just do you! If a person isn’t for you then they aren’t for you. No point in sitting here whining about how people “could/should” be according to your standards. Get standards and stick to them.

  • M0M0_S0_PURDI
    11-8-2009 7:24 pm

    CAN I JUST GET A MAN THAT LIKE TO BATHE REGULARLY AND HAS A JOB? AND DOESN’T SPEND ALL HIS PERSONAL TIME PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?

  • 4_sa-kin
    11-8-2009 6:51 pm

    God Fearing Virtuous women Appreciated and seek. What one man doesn’t want another man will… You have Five reason why you don’t date Christian women. I have one comment. Curve and don’t worry about it anymore.

  • DarkrThnMost
    11-8-2009 6:50 pm

    I agree with MzButterflyEffect on the judging thing… What gives a Christian the right to tell someone else that they’re going to hell or, judging people in general?!?!?!?! As crazy it sounds, the_im_that_i_be has a point as well… I say this because, just a couple of weeks ago that, some verses are actually placed in the Bible by man himself.. Scriptures such as; “Spare the rod and spoil the child” and, “God helps him who helps himself”, those were added to the Bible by man.. I’m not saying that the Bible is a bunch of lies but,do you honestly think that God, who has made us in his image, who has given us dominion over every animal and millions of other like talents, wants us to use these talents to beat kids, judge each other, not make decisions, be a bunch of mindless robots and so forth???? I, personally don’t think so!! Now don’t get me wrong, I believe in God but, I’m not religious, my connection to him is more spiritual.. I stand by faith but, I’m nobody’s fool meaning that, I will do my own research and not be solely fed no matter what a pastor, priest or anyone else says!! BTW, “Spare the rod….” was written by a poet named, Samuel Butler in 1664… God gave us the minds to determine, read wisely and always remember that KKK, Skinheads, the Aryan Nation and several others, call themselves Christians….

  • LastStarNtheSky
    11-8-2009 4:23 pm

    um…if you look it up. at least 70% of americans identify themselves as christian. so who does the author of this article like dating? the less than 10% of americans who claim a different religion or the remainder who say they have none? or does he really only hate dating true christians, but he’s cool with the weekenders who show up to church out of habit?
    i’m being “nit-picky,” but half of the stuff he’s griping about isn’t even remotely limited to christians. i once had a man seriously say to me “allah said we’d be one,” and got repeat calls about converting to complete his union. a jewish guy who used to stalk my friend always told her she was sent to him from yahweh. people have standards no matter what they are and they will use a million different reasons that fit their lifestyle to justify their dating/marriage requirements. you could meet a millionaire who’s not christian, that would take you through the same screening process just because he or she feels like their money gives them the privilege to. hardcore matchmaking is hardly exclusive to the pastor or church busybody, and neither is routinely dealing with people you aren’t attracted to after you’ve said no. co-workers deal with that all the time.
    even if the author is only talking about the die-hard, true “walk the path as the book says” believers, the posers and “fake christians” will take you through hoops too, just to get someone who fits the image they are trying to portray(or at the very least to front like they’re true christians). somewhere out there, right now, there is a ho at a christian singles convention posing behind a “i walk in the perfection of god, so you should too and be able to feed, clothe, and spoil me with the 6 figure salary god provided to you for me” nametag. don’t get me wrong, i get what the author is saying and i feel him, but he could of titled this “why i hate dating in general.”

    when almost everyone you meet(in the us) is christian, it’s a moot point.

  • Patience777
    11-8-2009 4:13 pm

    @Yucob: Don’t be nervous. Just approach her in the same manner you would want to be approached: with respect and a smile. Take your time getting to know someone. Pray over your friendship with the people you meet and don’t dismiss those “feelings” that something isn’t right. You will find the best one for you if you listen to your heart and be yourself. :)

    In all this was a very good article and there is a lot of truth to it. I am looking forward to the next article.

  • the_im_that_i_be
    11-8-2009 3:17 pm

    it is probally hard becuz most people are not really christains they go to church and get spoon fed religion and know nothin about spirituallity … and have ever even read the whole bible not even a few books al the way through ….. they dont even know what being a christain is
    the other reason is christanity is a forgery of other religions and doesnt have the complete and true knowdge from our culture just bits and pieces of it so even if yu followed everythign yu would still be lost and confised and all aspects of life including but not limited to relationships…..

    lolol what can christains do …lolol yu cant listen to music yu cant drink cant f**k … yu have to live a fake non human life …how could yu even meet someone new and meet the real them ….

  • MzButterflyEffect
    11-8-2009 3:04 pm

    I feel what he is saying and for the most part all of that is so true. One of my problems with dating a Christian is the whole judging you on what you do and who you are. I had dated a guy for two years and everything was fine until he turned Christian and all of a sudden just because i didnt go to chruch i was going to hell. No one have the right to judge anyone on their action unless they are god themselves. We ended up breaking up because I couldnt be me around him anymore. We are still good friends til this day but I do feel that people are more likely to connect better if they are on the same spritual path.

  • pretty4afatgirl
    11-8-2009 10:10 am

    I agree with Rapture Material, that the bible tells Christians to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers and that is why those that are not serious with their walk with Jesus are not going to understand the high standards that Godly men and women have. When dating, some people are wanting to date for friends and some are wanting to date for marriage. Not everybody is meant for everybody, so if the shoe doesn’t fit for you, then leave it alone and move on to the next. A lot of these people commenting are just falling short of good character and they know they are not good enough for a Christian man or woman so that’s why they are trying to shift blame. And the agnostics and atheists why would any Christian person want to date anyone that doesn’t believe the same way they do? I have to comment on the Christians going around saying that God told them to marry somebody, that’s a lie. Because God is not going to tell you who to marry. Just like with life, God gives us all choices to make. He will lead you to the Bible and the scriptures about finding a Godly man or woman and what to look for, but he leaves those choices up to the person, so anybody that says that is a lie. God wants His men and women to have standards and high ones at that, but mainly the standards that have to do with virtues.

  • RaptureMaterial
    11-8-2009 6:11 am

    I am a woman of God and I agree that Christians should date Christians, and we ARE suppose to have requirements! We should always so no to premarital sex, and anything else that is contrary to His Word. I believe also that if God “told” us something then He “TOLD” us something. If we have a personal relationship with Him then He IS going to speak with us. SO what! That’s what happens when He tells us what we should do in certain situations. I don’t believe that Christians shouldn’t date unbelievers because what foundation could you build your relationship on? The love of Christ is the first and foremost foundation that two people should have and then all other things come next. (but hey, thats just my opinion)

  • carlosvrigante1
    11-8-2009 1:53 am

    I think it’s very true Christians R some of the most Judgmental when dating .. Because they get so caught up on themselves and the mile long list requirements about the perfect ideal “godly” christian relationship that they 4get to even enjoy the moment..

  • Yucob
    11-8-2009 12:36 am

    Wow you all are really making me nervous..cause I’m a single man looking for a godly woman, but from the way you all make it sound I’m going to have problems. That part about the woman getting upset when we say we don’t want to sex with them really made me nervous. Wow my Christian sisters are you really like that? Cause I’m sorry but I can’t do it.
    I’ll be honest I have no idea how to even approach a christian woman but when I do I would really be disappointed if I invest time into getting to know her for her to end up sleeping with somebody else while we’re dating just because i won’t do it.
    Pray for me Fam

  • lucky-luccianni
    11-7-2009 11:40 pm

    I was expecting this to be blasphemous and distasteful but this was quite refreshing. On the spiritual aspect it is so true, but I think the rest is pretty general and not just Christians. I know one thing I hate is that when girls don’t get what they want they use God as their “Muscle” with comments like, “God gonna take care of u!” They think cause they talk stank to you in the name of Jesus, they “Holy Ghost filled” with boldness. ….I like this post. I’m printin out this 1..Thanks

  • jayslay34
    11-7-2009 11:39 pm

    @ RahDawgtheCEO I feel you on that>!<

  • jayslay34
    11-7-2009 11:23 pm

    @ CatchJohnOnline and devinmakemoves your comments are way off… The man is just describing characteristics that he has witnessed. There is no “desperate misleading attempt on smearing Christianity” in what he has said. He just gave some “legit” reasons for why he doesn’t like to date some Christians. Now I don’t know if you two are dating or not but the reality is, a lot of what he has said is true. From both sides male and female. Especially, 4. They have way too many requirements. Now i agree with devinmakemoves about the fake in general, because you will find that across the board but I for one can agree with Stuart on that .. Many of my christian friends have the same problem and have voiced there concern about this subject in our singles group… so my comment is don’t take everything as if someone is attackin you or other Christians… it just an opinion>!!!

  • devinmakemoves
    11-7-2009 9:48 pm

    People fake in general..saint or sinner..i have more problems with sinners than saints..i even have more problems with sinners saying they are saints. To be a person of Christ you have to have a standard and if you don’t want to live to that standard then try to cool off in hell. And speaking bad about Christians and you yourself got issues is simply foolish. You don’t want a christian woman fine..go get you a stripper or a w***e….and if a person say they a christian and don’t live like one..then they not a christian.

  • DarkrThnMost
    11-7-2009 9:14 pm

    I don’t date Christians for various reasons.. 1)God made heaven and earth in six days but, for some reason a Christian woman expects a man to exceed that..2)Way too many damn rules, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when I converse with them.. Like I have to be something phenomenal or, something out of a movie.. 3)Everything I say and do around the brothers and sisters of Christianity seems to be rebutted by a Bible verse, thus, creating the eggshells.. Since when am I not allowed to ask questions?? Why in the hell do I have to act like or talk like I’m a scholar to join in a Christian conversation??? They are no better than me in God’s eye!! True, some Christian women have it going on but, not all of them do.. Too damn overbearing some of them have become.. Now don’t get me twisted.. I love and believe in God as well but, there is no such thing as a perfect person or Christian.. And, truth be told, Klu Klux Klan, the Skin Heads and the Aryan Nation all, are Christians as well.. I guess thet got it going on too, huh???

  • CatchJohnOnline
    11-7-2009 8:43 pm

    I find this topic religiously bias, with a desperate misleading attempt on smearing Christianity. What’s next, saying I hate white people. You have to be agnostic, to even begin believing this. The irony of the agnostic man is that, he spends his life saying. Where’s God, but spends he’s whole life not looking.

    This is beyond offensive, especially from a “black site”. We “Havvvvve” to do better.

    We spend so much time, promoting our divisive talk of self-righteousness(what you can do, how you are better, how these people are that,etc); But even beginning to know Christ challenges that theology alone.

    Our own destructive nature, destroys ourselves. Just read how loosely we say “Amen”. It’s as pitiful, and immature as loosely saying “I Love You”….

    Good-Day-Goodnight America…

    Add Me

  • Frenzy_Hunter
    11-7-2009 8:12 pm

    I don’t date Christians for the same reason I don’t date Scientologists.

  • AntiFeminization
    11-7-2009 8:04 pm

    @Rei777,

    LOLLLLL Yo no podria estar mas de acuerdo contigo! I agree that this is probably one the best articles of HelloBeautiful, Elev8, all BP blogging affiliates ever.

    @Stuart McDonald,

    Go Stuart. Do what it do, man.

  • getmygrownmanon1
    11-7-2009 7:54 pm

    I have to say as a Man who does proclaim Christ as my savior, that Christian women have it going on, and some of the best dates that I ever had came from dating a Christian woman that was firmly planted in the church also. I have been in the world dating recently and it’s total chaos and selfishness that is taking place. Godly dating involves no sex pressures you pay for yours she payes for hers, you both take time to get to know each other, it’s great! Loved it.

  • ChauChau
    11-7-2009 7:30 pm

    Christian dating seems frowned upon, by comments like; when are you going to get married, or get some beans in that oven, or you should test drive before you buy. But NOTHING is too tough for GOD.

  • dcb514
    11-7-2009 6:59 pm

    I think folks are twisted across the board. I’ve recently returned to dating after a divorce and I have dated “Christians” and “others”. Both categories have people who are pushy, liars, crazy, mentally deranged etc. I dated this one “Catholic” guy who went to church every Sunday morning but he lied like a rug. He was calculative and very argumentative, he gossiped more than a teenage girl. After that was over I went out one date date where they guy met me with rose petals after having lying about his height. I’m tall and like to be around taller men. What did he think I was going to give him a pass for the lie because he brought me rose petals in a card. There also is the spirit of desperateness going around. I think the economy has people afraid of being on their own. I don’t think one “category” of people is more impacted by any of the negative things than any other. People are people no matter what religion they profess.

  • thekid1986
    11-7-2009 6:32 pm

    Real talk!

  • RahDawgtheCEO
    11-7-2009 6:14 pm

    LOL, 5 reasons I don’t date Christians either…#5: Im one and I can’t find one like myself, #4: with the exception of myself, they expect to much and give to little, the bible says: don’t ask for anything you yourself aren’t willing to give…#3: even if you do find one worthy, its to much pressure to get it right…#2: to much stone throwing, I don’t wanna be around when the glass houses come crashing down, we’re to quick to judge..remember remove the beam from YOUR eyes then you can see clearly enough to remove the spec from your brothers -Jesus (to paraphrase) don’t tell me my sh!t stank when yours do to…and #1: no one is truely a christian..everyone’s watching you and thats the problem…everyone is at church, but NO one is at church, everyone is there under false pretenses, not everybody but a large percentage of you go to church to be SEEN, and not to worship, you’re distracted, either you’re hung over from the saturday night before, or you want to speed things up cause you wanna watch football, and everyone has something to say about what the other person is wearing, some churches won’t even let a person in their church if they’re not dressed properly, lol at that one..God said come as you are, I could go all day, anyway this why Im not in a hurry to date a christian!!!

  • PatriciaJaye
    11-7-2009 6:14 pm

    I really enjoyed reading the Mr. McDonald’s article the part I really
    enjoyed was the part about when a christian repeatedly claims that
    god told him or god told her that it’s a complete turn off it’s also
    a sign of a liar here is a another one I heard god spoke to my spirit.
    I also get real dismayed when I meet a brother and, he never want’s to
    go to church he get’s mad when I go knowing full well when we met
    I told him I attend church on a regular. I can’t wait to read his
    article next week good article!!!!!!!

  • GodPrincezz81
    11-7-2009 6:04 pm

    I just read one of your complaint abt marriage, that why you don’t like date? Wait a min…right before you have a wrong idea, you should know I am a christian but not every christian is the same. I would not wanna be married to ya if you just take me to coffee or something. SERIOUS. I would of course, wanna be friend.

    The catorgy about friend: I have a lot of gay friends and worse. but what is wrong with that? Jesus taught with a lot of sinners, so He would not condemn and show the love. He gives us all free wills to do whatever but still hates our sins . He loves us because we are His children. Every christians have different opinions… some want be married or relationship fast just like some ppl in Africa kept pleading “I need a good woman that is serious about a man in relationship” or “Will you marry me?”

    I am not really marriage-type or anything you say below unless I get to know them, like anybody out regilion wanna getting to know in a slow process without asking quickly. I once know a man that is not christian, he proposed me just in 3 days …I freaked out because I disliked getting marrying to a man that I aint in love with.

    You need to be careful with who ya talking about. Like I say all are not same because we are “HUMAN BEINGS” they really don’t recongize that they still sinners from birthing. They can make mistake everyday, however you still need help ,not talk trashy against them.

    P.S. I really don’t go on date and act crazy, I just act romantic and passionate.

  • iPhukUrMowf
    11-7-2009 6:00 pm

    people hate dating christians because christians are predisposed to be stupid. if you believe the earth is 6000 years old and god created everything at one time and moses split the red sea… you are stupid… how can u carry out an adult relationship?

  • mz_chocolate_lady
    11-7-2009 5:43 pm

    I agree with FLyjones…I was reading this article and i was trying to figure out where you are getting your data from…The women you have dated or come into contact with are just crazy…All christans aren’t like that…Some things i can relate to and say yeah i do them but not to the extreme that you are explaining. HOWEVER there are those out there who expect greatness, and are only offering goodness…lol…But overall this was actually a good article to read!!!

  • FlyJones
    11-7-2009 4:42 pm

    Like I always say when people put everybody into a category because of some bad experiences….Everybody isn’t the same I am a Christian woman but I’m not like that at all….I can agree with the things you say but you still shouldn’t base your preference off of a few bad experiences and not make every Christian out to be undateable (by the way I know that’s not a word lol)

  • Hayzel
    11-7-2009 2:11 pm

    I agree wholeheartedly with the article and all comments below. I enjoy everyone’s differences and find that Christians are too hard-nosed, not open to anything and will vilify and satanize (i know it’s not a word:)everything that doesn’t agree with them. It doesn’t even have to be about God. And don’t get me started with those creepy “Christian” men… make my skin crawl…lol. I’m not perfect, and no one else is-so how bout we encourage each other on this journey of life? just a thought…

  • lsmith1981
    11-7-2009 9:00 am

    I have a Friend At work, who Wife Split up with him because He was always at work and not going too Church. OK She Knows and see’s the Financial Part not working, and she is not out there searching for a new job. But she wants him too be home all the time etc. What got me was How hardheaded she was too realize the material things that once came into place in the past are gone now. Things worked out perfect when they both were working..Everything is on him now, She got mad, Accused him of cheating, wondering why he is coming home late from work when she knows he is at work. the story is too long..and that’s why i wont date a Christian woman. Everything is GOD will and that all good. But when Logic Comes into play..im not going too sit here and wait for a miracle too take place when things arent working like they used to..

  • Supa_Maan
    11-7-2009 7:20 am

    LOL… Like everyone else I must agree with everything that was said in this article, but I think it applies to all women. Christian or not; well the women I have met…

  • TiredMan
    11-7-2009 6:57 am

    As a black agnostic, this is an article I can totally identify with. The disconnect between the often hypocritical behavior of so-called “Christians” and the tenets of the faith is probably responsible for creating more people like myself than any other reason. They are too intolerant and judgmental of anyone who doesn’t think exactly like themselves. A shame.

  • Rei777
    11-7-2009 12:18 am

    Holy crap. First Elev8 article I can actually cosign on! It’s about time. I’m actually tempted to come back and hear his balanced opinion next week…

  • SoularFlarez
    11-6-2009 8:38 pm

    LOL !!!!

  • shyscorpio1
    11-6-2009 6:20 pm

    CAN I GET A AMEN- I AGREE WITH E V E R Y T H I N G YOU JUST SAID!!!
    I FEEL LIKE I AM APPLYING FOR A JOB I KNOW I AM NOT QUALIFIED FOR AND SO I REALIZE IF I DO GET HIRED, IT WILL DEFINATELY BE UNTIL I AM FOUND OUT!
    TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!

1 2
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT