Why Women Should Leave The Pursuit To Men

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• Kashi101

  2-6-2010 9:34 am

  being raised w/ my brother and male cousins and 6 uncles, i can tell everyone, w/out a shadow of a doubt, that women need to stay in their roles biblical, oldfashioned whatever you like to call it. men might find the idea intriguing at first but they ultimately don’t want the pursuer. in fact, they’ll run from her in a short while

  stick to batting eyelashes, fanning skirt tails, smiling, him calling twice you calling once. it works!

• MsPurpleKisses77

  1-26-2010 2:38 am

  On a second note…. what happened to friends first?

• digitalwill23

  1-26-2010 1:35 am

  It is a fine balance. If a woman want to see if the man is available then she should pursue. I been on both side. I have pursue and been pursued. It a rush both way. I feel so many stupid ass rules on dating has made dating hard.

• CaliFemme23

  1-25-2010 1:00 pm

  warriorgoddess81,

  “On a final note, is everyone aware that this man is homosexual? I’d like to know how a gay man can possibly act as some sort of expert in the arena of heterosexual binary-gendered relationships. I mean, what the hell does he know? Hmmmmmm?”

  lmao…GREAT POINT MADE!!!

• deglover

  1-25-2010 12:07 pm

  I don’t think I have ever seen an article elicit such detailed responses. This is not a black and white issue, but a gray area. In this day and age when so many single women are the head of their household, it would not be fair to expect them to adopt a subservient role in their dating experiences.

• doing_me74

  1-25-2010 10:41 am

  A date can be free it doesn’t have to be money because most dudes are tricks today anyway the rap music shows it all the trick songs about buying females this an that so foolish making it rain.I rather not take a person out on date until I get to know them first because no women doesn’t have value to me just because of her gender that’s false value.I value myself so at the end of the day if you really like me then I don’t have to spend no money at all because money doesn’t make a women like a man anyway.So a date can be like the park a museum etc.If a female wants to claim that old fashion stuff then take me to your house an cook for me because that’s what old fashion women done back in the day.Don’t claim old fashion an then you claim you”independent” you cant live on both sides of the fence.So all the dudes you talk to are afriad to take money from a women because society has socialize men to feel inferior to women so to pay for himself to feel equal to a women but a man who knows his worth make a female pay for it.

• twelvetwelve

  1-25-2010 10:40 am

  If I see a woman I want to talk to I’ll go talk to her. If I don’t pursue her I don’t want to. Usually the women who have approached me are women that I have little to no interest in. If a guy wants to pursue you he will, if a guy wants to marry you he will propose. I’m not saying that suggestions and strategic flirting isn’t appropriate, but all out pursuit of a man will not work.

• foxy_brown020

  1-25-2010 8:44 am

  I’ve always leaned more towards an old fashioned way of thinking when it comes to dating I believe some things are for men to do. Let him ask you out first, are we so desperate to not wait? What is meant to be will you can’t force something it usually ends badly. It’s true times have changed, women have been liberated so now it’s more that there can be a balance between the roles. So can we please focus on getting paid lol all this focus on dating. No one’s saying the man HAS to be dominant I do believe a balance is healthy. There are no official rules to follow, It really depends on what type of person you are. The way society is has already been defined and just because some modern views are now that women can pay on the first date, or women can ask for a man’s hand in marriage, all kinds views, doesn’t mean that it’s the way things are in the 21st century! I’ve seen women who think it’s liberating to be in control and think that means using men for sex or financial comfort…everyone’s different. I’ve talked men who have been opposed to women paying for anything and I’ve talked to men who believed they shouldn’t pay a dime now that’s just one example. It’s all opinions which everyone is entitled to have. Just know who you want and you’ll be good. Whatever your opinion is respect yourself and your partner and it will be what it should be. This article had some good points though especially the part where he said what you build a relationship on is what you will need to sustain it. True words.

• MsPurpleKisses77

  1-25-2010 7:08 am

  Provers 18:22 HE who finds a wife finds something good and has obtained favor from the LORD. The bible says HE!!!!!!

  No! No! No! and did I say No!… Women have gotten life twisted and men do to…. people of the world!!! God always intended for the MAN to be the leader in all things…. Women are supposed to be able to help. When times get rough, ur woman will be strong enough to pick up the slack BUT a real man will take his place and take over again!!!…. Some of these men are whimps!! Stop waiting and depending on a women…period!!! Stop sleeping around with all these women giving them babies and leaving them alone to take care of them… WOMEN!!! stop opening ur legs to them all too… Learn to make em wait!!!

• 4LOSTSOULSONLYIL

  1-25-2010 6:48 am

  NO! FEMALES SHOULD NOT PURSUE MALES AT ALL PERIOD UNLESS IT’S ME ONLY BUT YOU DON’T HEAR ME THOUGH.GO TO YOUTUBE.COM/4LOSTSOULSONLY TO WATCH,COMMENT.RATE,SUBSCRIBE,AND SHARE ALL OF MY VIDEOS WITH EVERYBODY WORLDWIDE AND THANKS FOR YOUR SUPORT.PEACE!

• Dr_Beat_Itup

  1-25-2010 3:06 am

  D Sean I feel you Fam but yo There is a such thing as a bum b*tch lol If you a woman and live wit ya parents yous a bumb b*tch. If you have no ambition and diggin for gold yous a bum b*tch. If you stay on welfare lookin dusty and stay in the club yous a bum bi*tch. If you got hella baby’s daddies wit hella kids guess what? Yous a bum b*tch! Times have changed. Mafukas expect more out of females these days.

• D_Sean

  1-25-2010 1:36 am

  Women are so sexist. Everything that men do, they want to do, just to prove that they’re equaled to men. But everything that they do, we cant do, because we would be viewed as feminine. If a women doesn’t have a car, no 1 says nutn. But if a man dont have a car, he is viewed as a bum az nigga. Women expect men to pay 4 er ding when going out on a date. If a women lives wit her parents, no 1 says anything about that. But if a man lives @ home wit his parents, he’s viewed as a broke as nigga. Women expect men to walk up 2 them, but act like they 2 cute 2 approach a nigga. Women wont propose 2 a man, cause she expects a man 2 traditionally do it. But doesn’t love go both ways? There’s no gender rules to love. Just as men does for a women, a women should do for men. It should be 50/50. If women keep passing up good men, because they dont wanna pursue men, then niggaz gonna find someone else, and women gonna miss out, on what could’ve ben

• loviebuddy

  1-25-2010 1:20 am

  Well, I started not to read this article in the first place because I know that all the answers Christians need are in the word. But it is up to the individual to take out the time to read and meditate to know the truth and God is truth so He obviously would know all the answers. Well, although I initially did not desire to read it, I wanted to see if the author had some wisdom to offer. Not crushing him as a person but “men”, referring to all people, can say anything. For the Christians who desire some true insight here it is:
  Judges 16:15 says “And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me?”
  It would not take a rocket scientist for one to see that profession of love, intentions or desires does not equal the true thoughts of one’s heart. And only those of spiritual blindness could disagree with this fact.
  Also, people lying about their true feelings is not a rarity. You can find in the bible where people did it to God quite often. If people will lie to God, they will lie to you.
  Check out Isaiah 29:13, Matthew 15:8 and Mark 7:6. Mark 7:6 says “Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Keyword: hypocrites. Yea…they actually exist in the world. So for women who really want to know what to do I’ll give you some hints. #1 God will send you a man and you won’t have to chase after anyone. Growing in a relationship with Christ will give you the confidence you need to trust God to give you exactly what you need. #2 Proverbs 10:22 says that “The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.” Blessings of God vary and can be a range of things. In this case marriage is a blessing and having the one God wants for you is a blessing. Therefore, it can be concluded that God will add no sorrow along with the man he gives you. That doesn’t mean there won’t be issues or circ**stances…it just means you won’t have to go around..and excuse my professionalism…bein’ worried bout a nigga! #3 You will know he loves you by looking up scriptures to see what love is all about. For example, 1 Corinthians 13 talks about love also stated as “charity” in the King James Version. One of the things it says is that “love is kind”, which means that he will be kind, considerate and think of your feelings. This will lead him to being honest about how he feels about you. He will not play with your heart and leave you in the dark if he has goodness inside of him. It says that love “rejoiceth in the truth”, which goes back to sincerity. Sincerity is always clear and in plain view of the beholder. If you feel he is hiding something or if he won’t sit down and talk to you about what he wants or act like he doesn’t know, if he talks to you but doesn’t act out what he says..he’s not the one. Besides like I said, God will let you know but it takes wisdom to weed out the wrong ones. A good man will let you know upfront what he wants and what he is all about. Actions do speak louder than words…God’s word confirms it.

• Paneiro1

  1-24-2010 9:37 pm

  but as far as the question at hand, which i think maybe rather trivial in the end. I think traditionally it was a good idea for men to approach women but since times have changed it may be a good idea for women to approach men, it may be a short term solution to being lonely for the rest of your lives but its some progress atleast. So if you see a guy your interested in and he seems interested in u talk to him and be urself.

• Paneiro1

  1-24-2010 9:13 pm

  LOL thanx 4 that insightful words youve givin us on brothas like me, brothafromchicago. It must have taken years of your gathered up “wisdom” to come up with that one., and I truly appologize if youve addressed the sistahs in the past, but since i see no evidence of u doing that today i decided to addressed it myself. I think we maybe addressing to somewhat different issues so ill address what i think youre addressing and then continue addressing my issue LOL . See im a firm believer in that in order to fix a problem you must go to th route of it. So you may be wondering how can decifering issues that we had so long ago help us today?… well this is one way… You see (and I dont wanna make to many assumptions about u but) you seem to b one of those people that believes that we should pick ourselves up off the ground and get 2 work as individuals, well atleast the men should in your mind, and with all the forces against us as black men we should b able to fight them by ourselves. I am not a follower of that philosophy as we can see in many prominent societies even when we were one of them thats not how it goes i.e the jewish community. We as the most strong minded in our communities must lead and strengthen our ranks instead of leaving them behind. You right we dont have an oprah or anyone to address us as black men, so we must take every chance we get to make forum and guide our black men into prominence and productivity. What im saying is we already have enough against us without us turning against ourselves even the black women publicly sell us out whenever they get a chance. As a man that does his research and doesnt just “SPIT OUT FACTS” like you do i’ll bring some stats to your argument about accountability in a study on arrest 4 violent and property crimes between the time periods of 1995 to 2005 whites made up 68.9% of the arrests compared to blacks who made up 27.7% of the arrests yet in these categories blacks made up 41% of the prison population compared to whites who made up 36%. How is that possible, either whites are given alot more slack in court rooms while blacks are discriminated against or the difference in the representation we have in the court rooms, or both, isn’t this something we should address, yes we are the offender at times but arent we the victims in others, this is y i say we need help and guidance not just another finger pointing at us, personal accountability is start and i think plenty of these men have that already now we need to redirect their energy into something more possitive people need to under stand alot of these so called thugs r kids and we should approach them that way with the understanding that minds haven’t been completely molded yet but i also think that strong minded women as well as men but mostly women should approach women to help guide one another into being more psychologically and spiritually suitable for marriage, really should all help eachother cause were all we got .If you have another option i’d be happy to hear it.

  Now back to the route of the problem people always point back to slavery as 2 what is having a major impact on blacks today what people tend to 4get is in the time between then and now weve seen spurts of promising yet short lived productivity and progression i.e black wall street, even our marriage rates were higher what more currently damaged us as a family unit was welfare and the drug trade, people dont see how much welfare had influence on black men not being in the household. Welfare had a clause in it that said in order 2 be on it men could not be present in the household. STAY WITH ME AS I DISCOVER THE ROUTE, now with womens rights being implemented and fathers getting into the tendency of not being around the black family which became a phycological trait through angst and annoyance for the black women, black women took it on their own 2 take care of households, now with the tensions building over the years between black men and women, black daughters started to take notice along with the famous speach im sure almost every daughter has gotten from her mother which goes “dont rely on men 4 nothingo get youre education cause *when he leaves you youre gonna b out on ur own with a child etc. etc.” their mothers taught them or was the first influence in leading them to believe it is more important to check a man for his money and not 4 his ethics like honesty humility faithfulness and being a family oriented man, and black men see this worship of money and superficiality that to many black women have which leads to in many cases successful black men marrying white or non black women because they feel that black women love the money and not them which is what marriage is supposed to be based on and not having a big house in beverley hills etc. etc. where do black men get these theories from hmm… probably the numerous accounts with black women telling them and other black men “ you aint s**t” along with calling them broke ass niggas and using good brothas and gentlemen 4 their not to mention them staying in horrible and abusive relationships just to have someone who can help pay the rent or financially take care of her kids. Along with the information I provided here I have plenty of homegirls who attest to the attitudes and negative ethics of to many black women who want a man only for his resources as well as overhearing many of these conversations myself. AND THAT IS THE ROUTE AND *SOME OF WHAT IS THE EXPLANATIONS TO THE TENSILNS BETWEEN BLACK MEN AND WOMEN

• WarriorGoddess81

  1-24-2010 8:50 pm

  Holy good goddess this man is getting on my LAST f**king nerve.

  I’m sorry, what year is this? 1955? I’m pretty sure last time I checked we’re in the 21st century – but the way this article is written, we’ve gone back a few decades.

  Let’s look at two ridiculously biased and judgmental statements:

  “We feel like men when we’re allowed to take charge and lead. There’s nothing wrong with making suggestions, but determining the outright direction of the relationship, is, more often than not, better left to the man.”

  Shut the f**k up. I mean, really. First of all, NO. Not ALL men want to take charge and lead. Some of them are perfectly happy to treat their woman like a queen/goddess and let her be the one in control. That doesn’t make them any less than a man. Furthermore, whatever happened to equal status in a relationship? Why does any one person have to be in control? This author’s position is so chauvinist and antiquated it’s laughable. Which brings me to my second point…

  “If the woman initiates a relationship with a man, she will always be at the helm. Who ever initiates control of the relation-ship, will have control for the duration of it’s journey.”

  Aside from the fact that a professional writer just hyphenated the word “relationship” for no apparent reason, which makes him even more of a moron in my eyes – What the F**K?!? Seriously? Just because a woman initiates the relationship this makes the man inferior for the duration of the relationship?!? Give me a damn break. This guy’s just not making any damn sense, at least not in a modern context. If this article would have been in Woman’s Day magazine 50 years ago I’m sure the single gals and spinsters would have eaten it up. But nowadays, I’m pretty confident most of us would either wanna laugh or slap this guy hard in the face…

  On a final note, is everyone aware that this man is homosexual? I’d like to know how a gay man can possibly act as some sort of expert in the arena of heterosexual binary-gendered relationships. I mean, what the hell does he know? Hmmmmmm?

• kaikai7

  1-24-2010 6:52 pm

  I’m sorry but I will have to disagree with the author. This is the year 2010 and the times have changed! Some women prefer to play a more traditional submissive role in their relationships,while others don’t feel as tied to tradition. It really depends on the person. I see nothing wrong with a woman expressing and interest in a man? Why should I wait for a man to approach or initiate a conversation with me? Please!

• kingmute83_Godson

  1-24-2010 3:41 pm

  Stuart McDonald didn’t capture all men when he wrote this I love when women be coming up to me “Should a woman pursue a man?” Yes cause all men wasn’t born able to talk like other men

• raydust1

  1-24-2010 1:58 pm

  Interesting article even if I disagree on some points. From my experience some of my longest relationships were initiated by the woman. I think this is something woman do more naturally when they are younger and because of various reasons shut it down as they mature thinking the man should take charge.
  But it doesn’t matter who starts it off and does the pursuing because you both have to be on the same page to bring it further, there is no ‘boss’ or leader and if there is, that’s a recipe for disaster.

  Any good relationship has to be a team of 2. Sometimes the man plays the point guard up top and sometimes the woman takes on that role. If you can’t switch up even when you know you’re messing up then you’ll have problems.

• CHl_BAD_BlTCH

  1-24-2010 1:37 pm

  Best article I’ve read yet. I agree 100%.

  http://www.theblacklabelsociety.com/

• rayson1

  1-24-2010 11:05 am

  When women observe how I treat a woman; they ask me “where are all the good men at?”…My usual response is …”Hiding from you;” or “Taken by a woman more aggressive than you…” When I say ‘Hiding from you;’ what is meant, is that females who sit around waiting for a man and looking cute, jangling their keys, looking at their cells, giving the best view of their butts, and then acting all disinterested when one shows attention who doesn’t look like he’s draped in cash; is a scarey sight to a balanced man; he doesn’t want the anxiety of guessing what to do. Lots of women who ask me that question are those type. The other comment i make is self-explainatory but just to elaborate a bit; let me add…The girlfriend who got the kind of man you want will never tell you all that she did to catch that man; she is gonna give the ‘fluff’ story and make herself look all innocent. Women who go after a man and get him; hold him by not telling you what to do. Also, i should add that; we got most of our cultural mores about courting from our European conquerors..and to be frank, they don’t really practice what they preach. I may add that the White female is the aggressor in catching her man and she is so well trained at it..that taking your man, while you sitting around looking stupid, is no problem.

• Abesgirl21

  1-24-2010 9:44 am

  I think it all depends on the person. If a woman is really moved to approach a guy, then I think that’s great. I agree with many of you when you say that a lot of men like the idea of being pursued. Then again, I’m also old-fashioned as well, having learned that a guy is supposed to pursue the woman. I had this problem when I was in high school. I didn’t have any boyfriends at all, because I wasn’t wild, and fast like other girls my age. These boys wanted a girl who would easily give up the goods, and I was constantly overlooked because I played ‘hard to get’. I wasn’t the prettiest girl, or the most popular, or have a slamming body. I stayed out of trouble, and watched everyone around me take someone to prom. I must admit that those were some hurtful times. Too feel like no one wants you because you don’t run with the crowd is heart breaking. Now, at the age of 30, a lot of that has changed. I’ve been stopped by countless number of men because they find me interesting. And not just because I have a pretty face:-) Perhaps it’s because I carry myself like I have some sense. I dunno.

• mayhem187

  1-24-2010 8:19 am

  What?! girls should approach men cause im tired of approachin girls. if a girl approach a guy then dat girl that approach him must really be interested in that guy thats if a girl does it but if a man does it then its like idk it dont work out for me thats all i gotta say.

• dovonna2u

  1-24-2010 6:56 am

  i agree with the article…but it depends on the guy..there’s a small percentage of guys who liked to be pursue but i like the ones that pursue me instead….anyway i am old fashion so…

• courtneyR

  1-24-2010 1:18 am

  @thapussorite……Also as for resspect, having a woman that cooks and cleans not disrespect. Having a woman who is a capable and competetiment mother is not desrespect. Having a woman who respects a men as head of household is not disrespect. Having a man do the work and a woman maintain the house is not disrespect. Thats called TEAMWORK, one do what nature provided skills for, the other do what nature provided them skills for and work together in compromise. But the ladies at a certain time THOUGHT they would do it other than Yah’s way and sought to be ‘liberated’ from their role. And today we have the results of that, sky high divorce rates and a failing economy lol

  I happen to agree with what you said on this point that I copied and pasted.Its how my parents did it.with TEAMWORK,COMPROMISE,COMMUNICATION,LOVE,RESPECT for what each of them were INDIVIDUALY,what they were TOGETHER,what they were TRYING to BUILD in RESPECT to FAMILY.So with this point,I TOTALLY AGREE with you.BUT somehow,I think most men get it confused that a woman that can work outside the household,can do the very things you mentioned.Its just compromise.My mother did it all.TOOK care of the house,took care of the children.worked outside of the house when she had to.Dad took care of his duties.And they HELPED EACH OTHER to GET THINGS done for the sake of US.im sorry that im funny to you.For I assure you,my principals are important to me.Not once did I ever say that being indepedent is entirely ok.Not when it comes to family,the opposite sex.Their has to be TEAMWORK,an understanding,and communication.dialogue to figure out whats the best way for both.That takes compromise if you really want what you have to succeed.I believe picking a mate,based on principals,morals,vision,etc is just as important than the pyhsical aspects of a union.

  yes,I agree media can program people who are weak minded,who cant think for themselves.thats my belief.if they havent been shown anything different,your absolutely right.if the wrong messages are being shoved down your throat,every channel,every radio station,the younger ones will emulate that..unless,they are taught a better way.I think,most people dont care.most dont care about how their own children will turn out.I dont have any children,but the older I get,the more precious I see them.the more I understand that my child will be totally dependent on me and my husband oneday to GUIDE them and nurture them.ITS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO SHOW THEM RIGHT AND WRONG.TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE SO THEY CAN THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND NOT FOLLOW THE CROWD.I DONT WANT THAT.THAT LEADS TO TROUBLE,IF THEY ARENT FOLLOWING THE RIGHT THING.

  as for men,I believe like women,men are beautiful and special.how can i truly hate you when just like a puzzle,it takes the man to complete the puzzle of bringing forth life.i dont understand sometimes why their is so much hatred between the two.im not trying to out due men,im trying to learn from them as well as men trying to learn from women so we can gain a better understanding of the true love that can exist between us.I dont know what REAL WORLD YOUR SPEAKING ABOUT,BUT I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.AND I KNOW THAT THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE TRUE.EVEN FOR TODAY.For some women,we must know in our hearts that a man is worthy.Worthy from a spiritual,sense,and worthy in a responsibility sense for us to even entertain the idea of carrying your seed to bring forth life.Its to important and to much at stake to play around with people who dont possess or try to possess some of these important principals.why,because that childs heart,body,and mind is at stake.

  MEN AND WOMEN TRYING TO OUT DUE EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO ONE ANOTHER.We should never resort to calling each other out of each others name.especially when someone didnt approach you in that manner.It can be hurtful but we brush it off.I know what its like to be passed over for the it girl moving to fast but that didnt make me want to start acting like a w***e becuase I was being passed over.I knew eventually becuase my mom stayed in my ear that the right kind of attention would come my way if I just stayed true to myself.and their are other women in the world just like me.

  ps,I wonder if MICHELLE OBAMA WOULD OF LISTENED TO EVERYONE BUT HER MOTHER,WOULD SHE STILL BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH ALL THAT SHE HAD.HAVE A GREAT HUSBAND WHO SHE BUILD WITH BECUASE HE DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO GIVE HER BUT HIS LOVE,DEDICATION,FRIENDSHIP,RESPECT.THEY STUCK BY ONE ANOTHER.THEY BUILD WHAT THEY HAVE TOGETHERAND BECAUSE OF THAT,THEY HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TO SHOW FOR.WITH DICIPLINE,LOVE,RESPECT THAT FAMILIES SHOULD HAVE.THEY HAVE TEAMWORK.MY RELATIONSHIP HAS TEAMWORK.TO DENOUNCE THE IMPORTANCE OF PICKING THE RIGHT KIND OF MAN WOULD MEAN THAT IM DENOUNCING MY OWN FATHER.THE FATHER WHO TAUGHT ME WHAT KIND OF PRINCIPALS TO LOOK FOR IN A MAN.SO SORRY,CANT DO THAT.BUT NICE TRY TRYING TO PUT ME IN THIS BOX OF YOURS.LOL

  @daintyjen,I see you,cali,chicago,likewise.Nice having a chat and exchanging ideas and knowledge.even if we all dont agree on everything each other says.

  @spirit_writer,I enjoy your postings as well.

• sPiRiT_wRiTeR

  1-24-2010 12:32 am

  What the hell??
  Michael Jackson said it the best, “You got to be startin somethin.” This is the internet, not the party line She-Ra lol You’ll never see these people and I knew it was you calling me too. You always playin!

• CaliFemme23

  1-24-2010 12:27 am

  brothafromchicago, OH! ok, I had to read back on what I said…Damn, that must mean I’m talkin to damn much on here!

• CaliFemme23

  1-24-2010 12:25 am

  brothafromchicago, Ummmm, I must have got lost when I logged off…lol I dont get it….

• PhAnToM_cHiCk

  1-24-2010 12:07 am

  Wait a minute, it look like somebody did try to get cyber tough. Boy you better call me LMAO

• PhAnToM_cHiCk

  1-24-2010 12:05 am

  @ spirit_writer

  T, you still be on here?? LMAO You and yo cousin a trip! He told me that you be on here from time to time. I have read some of your postings and MAN LOL It seems like you trying to be nice now. lol They don’t know you like we know you LMAO What’s good on Homan? My girlfriend say she see you in Maywood from time to time. If you have this extra time on your hands then you need to hit me up!! Valentines Day is around the corner ya know lol I know you still got the same number b/c it was me calling private a few times LMAO. Get out of this forum before somebody try to get cyber tough with you lol. You ain’t changed that much T. Big E said wassup!!

• BrothafromChicago

  1-23-2010 11:33 pm

  yes @ Dainty I did bite what are you going to do about it? lol and What you want me to scoop you up or what? Your dude didn’t text me nothing. We can get it over with now. LMAO nvm I just got your silly azz text, I’m at ya boy crib.

  and same to you @ Cali

• DaintyJen

  1-23-2010 11:26 pm

  @ sPiRiT_wRiTeR nobody “went in” on each other. People had a discussion, simple as that….

• DaintyJen

  1-23-2010 11:25 pm

  I kinda get what he said, either way it goes tv does very much cater to females. Tyra and oprah haven’t changed much THEMSELVES but they have made great points in their shows about how black women need to change a few things as well. Not once have I seen a show or anything on tv cater to black men. And Brotha remind me to kick you in yo’ azz 1) for BITING! and also because you know what you was suppose to do today I have 100 and you already know!

• sPiRiT_wRiTeR

  1-23-2010 11:20 pm

  Why is it that we can’t have a debate without going in on each other? Are we here to point the finger or try to solve the problem? We get to hurling insults at one another due to this white mans perception? I agree to disagree, but God forbid this guy or anyone else starts up an article in regards to skin complexions; mess around and have a civil war in our own community.

  The best way to fight a fire is with water. You only use fire if you want it to spread!! IT’S TOO EASY TO THROW STONES AT ONE ANOTHER; BUT BUILDING A SOLID FOUNDATION IS HARD WORK LADIES AND GENTS!

  If anyone needs a helping hand, someone to talk to, or whatever….holla at me. I’ll do what I can under the circ**stances.

  YAH BLESS

• CaliFemme23

  1-23-2010 11:04 pm

  brothafromchicago, Ummmm we dont have Oprah or Tyra either…lol. Tyra fans the flames of the LGBT community, doing her nails, and how to get fake eyelashes that dont stick to your face…Oprah..well, I dont take advice from a middle aged white woman…

• CaliFemme23

  1-23-2010 10:58 pm

  Brothafromchicago, “@ Cali its not that I don’t think I’m worth a woman approaching me its just that I’m the type that likes a challenge”. Well there you go..That statement in itself is why you and I disagree to a certain extent on this…I am a woman who doesnt mind approaching and you are a man who likes the challenge of approaching a woman and perhaps ‘winning her over’..makes perfect sense to me as to why we ’see’ it different. It’s all about what is your pleasure, youre right. And even though we all seem to have a different view…I have enjoyed the exchange of ideas…CourtneyR, brothafromchicago….great points…

• BrothafromChicago

  1-23-2010 10:54 pm

  LMAO @ Paneiro1 sorry my brotha but its brothas like you that make it hard for black men & women to be able to take responsibility for their wrong doing. Just because I spat out FACTS about black men doesn’t mean I have never spat out FACTS about black women. Today I chose to speak about the black men because if you look at it we literally have nothing to turn to. We don’t have oprah or tyra. The only things we have are sports and music and even still they don’t really get the message out. And are you serious women don’t take accountability for their actions? Seriously? LMAO young cat go to bed.

• CaliFemme23

  1-23-2010 10:51 pm

  Corner_Boy_Scarlet, “The Real Man is usually too reserved and busy to go on the active part of the hunt, we need to be hunted too”. Good point…Did yall hear what the young man said…”WE NEED TO BE HUNTED TOO”. Nothing wrong with a woman letting a man know that he is just as good as she is. I hate to take it here on y’all, but MANY black men resort to women of other races because those women GO AFTER, APPROACH the black men they want…Men want to feel wanted just like we do. Dont wonder why other races are ‘getting our men’, just know that they ACTIVELY make it known, they actively let men know where they are coming from and what they want…

• BrothafromChicago

  1-23-2010 10:47 pm

  @ Cali its not that I don’t think I’m worth a woman approaching me its just that I’m the type that likes a challenge. Cali you said: “That list represents what EVERY woman of today and 2morrow should be aiming at being in a relationship and as a woman as a whole. I feel that is what I respresent and yet I dont think that I am ‘old fashioned’. The thing we need to work on is, stop making QUALITIES seem like something ONLY our grandparents did and require each from each other right today.”___COREECTION__Yes it is something women should be like today BUT Its old fashioned because it USED (past tense) to be apart of what held our society together. There use to be an abundant amount of women that posses those qualities and more. It used to be easy to find and not hard like it is today. It was your grandparents that acted in such manners. It was our grandparents that set that bar. You had to of had the proper IDOLs or EXAMPLEs to be held to such qualities or these qualities would just be fairy tales.
  you also said “Its comments and mindset like that which makes women feel like they dont have to put in any work themselves.”___I have to disagree, its THAT mentality that makes people think being judemental and acitng like they know everything is applaudable. Yes there are some out there that feel that way but has it ever occured to you that some women just like being approached? Its not about “feeling” like doing anything, its a simple turn on. Brotha man knoxx–prime said he like it when a female approaches him so does that men he FEELS like he doesn’t have to do anything? Its about pleasure. get it how YOU ike it.

  @ I8ThaPussSoRite yes women seeked to make change as far as the WORK FORCE and have more rights. But that didn’t create the problems we face today. You guys are acting like women back then WANTED To have less rights and wanted to be unequal–that does not define or has to do with being “old fashioned”. Like i said its more of a quality. The term doesn’t men you have to walk like them, eat like them, bathe like them. There are women that still do have SOME of those qualities and there are women who have more of thos equalities. And today both men AND women are workaholics so you can’t put that entirely on women. Black women are literally forced to take on the male and female gender roles. Not entirely because of american standards but because we black men have lost our way. There is a whole industry where black men are profiting for disrespecting themselves/their people as well as our women. But I don’t feel like typing all that because this is BP and I know for sure I’ve typed some of this stuff before so in the famous words of gin&juice “YAWN”

  As I stated before its cool if a female wants to approach BUT its also cool if a woman never approaches. Like somebody said, “don’t take stuff so personal if you don’t fit a persons standards, keep it moving”. and with that simple quote its dead

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