There’s A Reason She Doesn’t Respect You
Last week I wrote about how men disrespect women, and why we shouldn’t and what we should do, and yada, yada, yada. I got quite a few people who wanted to hear the reverse discussion and put the women on blast. And I’m all for being fair (sometimes) and balanced and looking at both sides of the stories. So…
It’s obvious the type of things that women do when they disrespect their men, so I don’t find it necessary to discuss that. The question then becomes, not what, but why. Why do women do these things? Why doesn’t the woman treat her man with respect in the first place?
The simple answer? She doesn’t like him. A woman will not respect a man she doesn’t like. (I use like instead of love, because you’re going to have to first like the man before you love him.) Her reasoning may seem insignificant to the man (not that she cares), or even to her friends, but that’s irrelevant — if she doesn’t like a man, she will not treat him with respect.
On the most basic level, a woman won’t like a man if she feels cannot protect her. Protection looks like different things to different women. If she values keeping her bills paid, she will not respect a man that is between jobs (”You broke ____!”). If she looks for physical strength (the most cave-man of reactions), then she won’t like slim or short dudes (”With yo’ little _____!”). If a woman values brains or intelligence, she won’t use a phrase when arguing, she will start to use big words to make you feel stupid (to which the “ignorant” man replies, “Yo, why you gotta start talking like that? I can’t STAND you!”)
Men, I know sometimes we can be hardheaded (self included), so here are some factors to let you know if a girl doesn’t like you (there are obviously more, but let’s get the basics down first):
- She doesn’t initiate conversation (only returns calls or texts, never sends them).
- She doesn’t want you to touch her in public. At all.
- She doesn’t want to kiss you.
- She never asks you where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing (because she doesn’t care).
- She doesn’t want to just hang at the crib with you.
If a woman you are dating, or even interested in, acts like this, she ‘s not playing hard to get. She is not ‘hella cool and laid back.” She doesn’t like you. If she doesn’t like you, she won’t respect you. If a woman doesn’t like you, the more you pursue her, the more desperate and unattractive you look. You see, if she did like you, all the stuff you do for her would make her heart melt, but instead, the opposite is true — her heart is getting hard towards you. Now you’re just make matters worse and she likes you less (and thinks you’re dumb for not getting the clues) and thus she’s disrespecting you more and more (often more publicly).
I already know that some will say that this is a cop-out because it really defers all the blame back onto the men and that’s not fair. And that’s true. I, in some ways, did defer the blame back on the men for not understanding that the women didn’t like them. But that’s how these things work — the man is (or should be) in charge of the relationship. And when something goes wrong, who do we blame most often? The one in charge. Sorry guys, that’s just the way it is sometimes.
They’ll say that there are women who are downright just disrespectful for no reason. And I’d say you’re wrong (at least on that count). There is always a reason that women do things. We may not be able to figure it out or comprehend, but that doesn’t stop it from existing.
So gentlemen, if she’s disrespecting you, chance are good, very good, that she’s not doing it for no reason. Think about the things listed above and inspect whether or not she really likes you and then take things from there.
[Written by Stuart McDonald for Elev8.com. For more from Stuart, check out his personal blog, follow him on Twitter, and connect with him on Facebook.]
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Comments
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Now everything this man has said makes sense… wow I understand. Now. Thanx
Dam! He is actually on point….Thanks Stuart for saying everything that I have not said to guys for years.
Wow! A man who really knows.
Just like another brother said, I also have learned to ignore those stuck up, ignorant, arrogant, Selfish, & Disrespectful women. The guys in my family always tell me that I’m a little too closed off and harsh towards women. Which in fact is I know just by watching some women’s actions or listening to them speak what they are or will be about. Therefore I don’t even waste my time looking or giving those types the smallest idea that I’m interested. It’s tough trust me because there are a lot of beautiful women out here but you really have to see past that. Once you do things will be as clear as day. I’m not sitting here like I’m a love guru or I’m not struggling to find someone because I am having a hard time, I’ve been single since Feb 2004 and havent went on a date in almost 2 years. This what I had to do and what I’ve learned from the strong women of my family, my mom and my beautiful sisters always school me. That’s why they do not experience the “lack of good men” as most women call it because they are real with themselves and respect a man for who he is and not what he is and has. That’s how I view a woman, I like someone i can respect just for being herself, respectful & humble. I could care less about the chick with the banging body and the arm candy, I’ve been there and done that in my short life.
This “issue” of why women shot men down is based on a concept, known only as SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY. ( and people can be quick to forget how that works.) We all (men AND women) made that mistake of saying or doing the wrong things that turn-off the ones we tried to get with….and sometimes it ends in DISASTER (or FORGIVNESS, if they’re understanding) but in some cases, women “judge the book-by-da-cova” all because thier past relationship didn’t work out and they start to show them signs (mentioned above) towards a new person who is just starting to show interest in them. Social responsibilty teaches me that, u just can’t “rush” a good thing, because some women won’t like u right away….It takes TIME to build true love, because heart-break is quick!
LMAO she sed the men r responsible for the relationship my question is what r women responsible for in society? These pompous selfish infantile attitudes that black women have is such a turnoff, why do so many men cater to these creatures that lack any moral conciousnes and you know they dont when you read this article, isn’t this article missing something when she talks about disrespectin you in public and doing all these evil things 2 men because they dont like them, hmm..? how about the little bit of integrity it takes to tell the man that YOU DON’T LIKE HIM! instead of usin up his money or wasting his time. y do we have to look for signs that a woman doesnt like us. Either dont talk 2 him or tell him the deal its not that hard. At the end of the day a black woman doesnt give 2 s**ts about me (because im a black man) they were trained to feel that way. I’m just a sperm donor and a bank account.Your telling me i should seek respect from a (air quotes) human being who lacks any moral accountability. NO THANKS
I find most women dont respect men in general if you look at that list. many are just more interested in themselves than they are in another person genuinely.
Yea blame it on the man.I have a black mom and sisters my oldest sister showed me the game a long time ago some women think its okay and normal to be stupid its because I had no father no one loved me I was insecure down on my self when the truth is this respect goes both ways.the touching and not calling and not having sex is just the tip so many women ask for a good man.honest loveing and respectful but when they get it they take it for granted they don’t give a s**t.but u get a brother who was locked up no job sl@pping her around her thug bro they flock to them.then they wonder why there daughters do the same thing.its a cycle so untill these sisters get it in there head that sometimes you get what you ask for.first treat yourself with respect.have some pride about yourself get your own so you want have to depended on a brother to take care of you.love yourself have been through this first hand I wasent doing the disrespect s**t I received it.I stayed because of my child.women stop having babys by brothers you don’t no.so stop flip flopping.stop breading dumbness.and stop disrespecting yourself
FYI: I was one of the brothas that typed in about flipping the table and talking about the women, but not linking it back to us. So if that’s the case then, the reason for no good men out here is because of the women then if you want to keep flipping it on us as men.
Yeah, now I can see some of this sounds unrealistic Stuart. I agree with a woman not liking you part, but I disagree that women do things for a reason, and that it links to us men, then I guess serial killers do as well huh? There are women out here who do trifling and messed up things just because they they are too good, ignorant, lacking education and resources, and can be trifling as most of the men as well. I need someone to right an article about the real truth of the ignorant woman, not linking it back to the men. There some aspects which I don’t have to do anything to the woman, and even with brothas who got themselves together (like myself) we are flicked away because we are not thugs, ignorant in public or in life, and these women think they can protect them?? How the hell can you protect someone behind bars? lol.
Anyhow, I think that there are some women who are over 23 years of age that digress to becoming 15-17 again. These women have messed up priorities, and honestly don’t know what they want. So if I pursue a woman now, now she has the right to be a b***h. Damn, this world is getting f**ked up by the day seriously. Now if I call you a b***h, or act ignorant with you, a woman would think that’s sexy or if I can punch another guy out, that shows I can protect you. I agree with the brothas like orinreborn2 and king-gucci-gudda, alot of these women are children, and they want to use the excuse, I didn’t have a father, or the men in my life did this and that to me. WTFE (What The F*** Ever). Woman up and stop using these excuses to allow you to dislike or hate all men seriously. Not every man out here is looking to cheat, or beat on you. But see, the men that are, you give them chances, the men that are on their job, or education, you don’t like them, they are c**ky, they think their perfect.
Hummm…Protecting a woman doesn’t always revolve physically, but financial, and mentally as well. If you a woman and don’t want a man that is stable and preparing for the future, something is terribly wrong with you. I am only talking about women from 23 on up. Funny how white women can get their s**t together and still have a husband or boyfriend. Black women got alot of their mental messed up, and we are going to be an dying breed soon. We are already lower on the minority list in America.
wish i had known this when i was younger. would have saved me a hell of a lot of money and time!!! interesting article though!!!
i have learned to avoid the stuck up rude women
i know from in the first 10 mins of talking to a women
if she down to earth an wants to be involed with me or
of she is a stuck up brat an things will not be mutual
i hate those type of women dont invite me into your
life if its going to be me starting convos an looking
for your attetion all the time an the women who read this
if thats you your wrong an ignorant
I totally agree orinreborn2. I have faced a similar situation in the past.
It’s a shame that good men like ourselves get overlooked sometimes because we are labeled as “too nice” buy those that choose to remain “little girls”. But there are still “real women” out there that appreciate a “real man”. The key is to love yourself first, and if someone’s not rolling with your program, it’s on to the next!
This is a really good article !!!
. Before her I had several lovely females I was dealing with so I knew height is not a big deal to all women.
It reminds of one woman I was dating, I worshiped her like crazy. But she never initiated calls or dates. And she said something about my height .. I am 5′6″ gainfully employed professional type of guy. She said I came off too nice, I am a gentleman most of the time, and enunciate all the time. Thing is, regardless of my height I am a decent looking guy that body builds for fun
I started to not call her, she started calling me, and set up dates. On dates I stopped worshiping her and basically called her out on any BS !!! After a while she started worshiping me, then I ended it.
Its messed up, but if you are a man that got your stuff together, and a woman is disrespecting for anything not $$ related, just move on and treat her like she is nothing … because if you are a decent looking, gainfully employed black man … there are PLENTY of fish in the sea looking for you !!!